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Approximately 22 minutes to read
Love makes the world go around/insane.
almost 4 years ago Liz Schleisman said:
This was pretty good. It was cute, and a nice change from all the serious stuff lately. :) Good job.
almost 4 years ago Jahnna M. P. Irons said:
I like this, it's cute, funny, and true. Good work.
over 4 years ago Veedya said:
almost 5 years ago Julia <3 said:
This is the best book i read so far on figment......
over 5 years ago Ajay Kuruvila said:
It is an interesting story. It does give the reader the feeling that the writer is writing from personal experience. The pointing out the cliches is a bit distracting. But on the whole the story was quite interesting. Leaves you wanting a little more...that's good.
almost 6 years ago Other A. Smith said:
"and sat across from me as far as he could, at that table." It feels like there is emphasis on the table the guy sat at, as if that should be italicised and the table has some special significance.
I have noticed a few typographical errors, lack of capitals at the starts of sentences, punctuation in dialogue in the wrong places, or not there at all. When writing out what was on a note, numbers are fine, but when in the prose or spoken word, the numbers should be spelt out.
Calling out each cliché I found somewhat distracting, but maybe that was the point. As I don't actually read romance, and am not that romantic a person, sometimes I missed what the cliché that you were calling out was, maybe someone more familiar with the genre would pick them up right away. I do like though, that your charachter is quite self-aware that her life is full of these cliché bits, and maybe it'll go wrong at some point.
Couldn't read past chapter 1, no access code. A few technical errors, but overall, a decent piece.