The Sacrifice

The Sacrifice

1 chapter / 905 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read


The Black Lake Village is a dark place, filled with Demons coming to hunt every night. To save themselves they offer a sacrifice everyday. This is the story of one of those sacrifices.



over 4 years ago Hailey Calvert said:

That was horrible....yet wonderful. Good job!


over 4 years ago Twilight Stevens said:


over 4 years ago Neema said:

Hi! Thanks for commenting on my story :) Your imagery is great, I love the literary devices you used. Now I'm going to kind of contradict myself when I say this, but I think you should tone them down a little. Too many can build up and drown out the plot of the story and in the case of powerful imagery, sometimes less is more. But I enjoyed this, well done :)


over 4 years ago Kira Kay said:

Hearted since it's a heart swap, but after reading the preview I had to mention it was just boring for me. I wasn't intrigued at all and it felt very lackluster. The storyline isn't impressive enough in the description to interest me nor is the general content or the non-exciting vocabulary words. Just some constructive criticism, not looking to be mean.


Penguins in sweaters

over 4 years ago Soph!a said:

This was LOVELY! A little bit terrifying and a slight bit disturbing, but I loved it. I have no criticisms. I've never read anything like this. It flowed so nicely it seemed it was just the protagonist thinking. Anyway, fantastic work!


over 4 years ago Rex Eynon said:

this is great. the writing seems so smooth, almost poetic at times. there were some great lines such as, 'each blaze of passion enveloping my senses could be my last' & 'the scarlet stains would be gone by morning'. this is nice writing.

the story itself has a good plot, and moves nicely. though i am not sure how many times that same houses can be burnt down :) i do like the idea of the demons, with limbs from whatever they had devoured. picturing a herd of freaky spiders. bleh.

all in all a great piece :)