The Harbinger of Sacrifice

The Harbinger of Sacrifice

1 chapter / 1936 words

Approximately 10 minutes to read

Description:

With the help of ancient and dark magic this book was formed. Created to pass on its author’s knowledge, explain why he did what he did, and why the earth now stands on the brink of Armageddon. At least that was its original purpose. Well showing the book to his young apprentice the Author learns that not only can he relive the past through his book, but that there is also a chance he can rewrite it. Now he and his apprentice are thrust into a strange world where magic reigns and technology is its slave. How could things be different though in a world where gods and demons walk among men? It is in this world, devoid of any governing body and fragmented by the various feuding churches of the gods, that the Author must navigate once more if he wants to save not only himself, but the entire world as well. Join him as he and his apprentice relive his past through the eyes of a myriad of people, from the lowest beggar to the highest kings and gods, and as he seeks to undo his fatal mistake.

Comments(4)

Ayn rand quote

over 4 years ago Amariah C (Milly A. Conrad) said:

This is very, very, very good! The concept is new and interesting, and I can't wait for more!

I will say you should make sure you capitalize the first letter right after a quotation mark - sometimes they were lowercase.

Also, your sentences tend to be a bit long. I do that a lot, too, but just know that is sometimes gets hard to read because the sentences keeps going and going.

The last thing I'll say is that you use the words, "I said" often. Maybe you can mix it us a bit, saying, "I murmured" or something to show that the character is speaking, but now using the words "I said" constantly.

That's all! This sounds like a great story and I'd love if you could keep me up to date on it! I'd be more than happy to read it and give you feedback!

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over 4 years ago Nicole said:

This one chapter was fantastic! I loved how you left us with that cliffhanger ending! You'll have let me know when you add more to this. And can I just say that I thought I was reading a publish book? You're writing style is amazing!

Me-1

over 4 years ago Evie Hadley said:

It was absolutely amazing. Keep writing more I hope to hear from you again.

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over 4 years ago Kylie Marie said:

This is truly interesting.

Reviews(1)

Swift

over 4 years ago Emily Skrutskie said:

This is a really intriguing concept - my nitpicks are mostly stylistic. You need to work on varying your sentence structure. Repetition isn't only using the same words twice; using the same structure over and over wears on the reader and makes your writing more difficult to read. Try reading your writing out loud to get a sense of the rhythm, and you'll probably see what I mean. Keep writing!