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Approximately half a minute to read
7 months ago Patty Pimperstin said:
Hearted yours! & congrats on participating in the Kidnapped contest! If you want to swap, please check out my story, "Gills," on my page & heart it if you like it! :)
7 months ago Addison Boone said:
very interesting idea and your detail is very unique and vivid!
7 months ago Air'rik Milosavich said:
This is really good!
7 months ago Garima Gupta said:
Lol, I love this! Even though it was short, it was hilarious. This was a great idea!
7 months ago Sara NS Francis said:
First of all: I have no idea where the swords and octopi came from, I thought he was in a van! For a piece this short, it's best to cut back on the really deep descriptions (not saying that there shouldn't be any.) it honestly just made have to read through it three times to figure out what you were talking about.
Grammer: you tense shift, going from past to present and back and forth and back and forth.... any way it's pretty easy to fix. Good luck.
7 months ago Riley Wagner said:
Oh my gosh, I loved this :) Your descriptions were perfect and I just loved the voice and overall everything in this. Great job!
Best of luck in the contest!