Behind the Mask

Behind the Mask

3 chapters / 3738 words

Approximately 19 minutes to read

Description:

~authorized under thejaneeyresisters stipulation laws.
*All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof
may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever
without the express written permission of the publisher
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.* ___________________________________________________________ Reviews and Comments: "You are very fluent in your writing and it shows. I didn't find anywhere where you got off track, and your descriptions are wonderful."~Jordi Scream " You really touched upon social values of the era and everything seemed spot on in accordance to period."~Jon Kizer "I think you captured this time period perfectly. I felt like the story was very light and easy to embrace. Which I LOVE! Things were very well set out. I enjoy all of the detail, I felt like I was actually there. It can be a rather hard thing to master, and you obviously mastered it."~Keely Page "With your skill in dialogue and creating the character's attitude and feelings, you could very well have a bestseller..."~Julie Gilkison "Wow. This was... I can't find a good enough word to describe this. This was amazingly written and the detail was beautiful. It was perfect. I loved this and it was a pleasure reading it."~Kimmie

Comments(34)

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over 4 years ago Anna Browne said:

You have good detail and description, but your sentences are short and choppy. Also, in your description, we don't want to read comments on what people have said because we can read them below. We want a synopsis of the book, and failure to provide that is a huge turn-off to readers.

-Annabella

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over 4 years ago Kristen Chocoholic said:

This is getting better.

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over 4 years ago Kubrah said:

Characters were incredibly realistic. I remember only reading a little of Little Women, and read th ename 'Emma' in it. But yes, Rebekah had a beautifully sculpted personality. The beginning caught my eye, and soon after I was dragged in.

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over 4 years ago Jasmine Shabazz said:

I think you did good with portraying the time era. I like how it mentions Jane Eyre; and how you displayed perfectly how this society was back then. I would reread this though, you have placed the wrong words or misspelled them in some sentences. For example you put "As" instead of "And" but those can be easily fixed. I'm quite intrigued with this though I think the chapters should be longer. I feel as if this is missing something, maybe more emotion especially when she's arguing with her father. It's good so far but I still think something is missing about it.

Reviews(13)

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over 4 years ago Alex M. Stache said:

(I'm bad at reviews, but here goes) I actually enjoyed this. I read the whole thing, it was very interesting and a good read. At first I wasn't into the whole formal writing style, but after I got used to it...I really liked it. I loved the dialogue, very believable exchange between characters. I liked the issue in the story a lot. I guess it's my kind of read. In chapter one I wasn't sure if you put Yorksfor or Yorks for (I'm going off memory here, so I apologize so any mistakes) But I thought it would just be easier to point out. And I can't remember well, but I think in chapter 3 you spelled a word wrong. (Scent I think, but I have to go back and look)

Anyways, great job and I hope to read more from you!

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over 4 years ago ◇◆Chrys B. said:

I felt that your sentence structure could use a bit more flare into it. For most of the chapter, I saw were long sentences, which are great, strung up by conjunctions and commas. A wide variety of sentence structures will definitely add a spark to your style.

I wish you could have offer a bit of background story to Emma and Rebekah or hints of it. (If they were, I'm sorry if I didn't see it.)

I also suggest to put a little bit of summary or quote from your book to draw in readers. Instead of praises and comments.

Let's get on with the good stuff. Your descriptions are great! The dialogue was realistic if you're going for a historical feel into it. I can feel Emma's jealously towards Rebekah and you offered a good explanation as to why. And she doesn't want to subjugate herself to what society wants from women in the old days.

(These are my thoughts and you can ignore them if you wish.)

~Chrys