What I Remember

What I Remember

15 chapters / 18210 words

Approximately about 2 hours to read

Description:

*FIRST DRAFT COMPLETE*
On June tenth, Galina Cortot expressed her passion for ballet by performing in Carnegie Hall.
On June eleventh, she was relegated to a hospital bed. Paralyzed.
All Galina has ever known is dance, yet she will be forced to experience a physical and emotional transformation as her life is turned upside-down. Galina is constantly remembering the past, and during the overwhelming experience she begins to feel that she is not capable of anything. Genevieve and Michael wish the best for their friend, but no one can possibly understand Galina's torment. Physical therapy leaves her feeling drained. Depression haunts her being. A waltz by Chopin replays in her mind, staying with her from the beginning of this journey until the end. A new friend gives Galina some hope, but that hope may falter. Galina desperately wants to dance again, but her fate is hazy. This being said, her future is also full of surprises.

Cover photo used from http://achadosdaliedaqui.tumblr.com/post/36765653551

Genres:

Drama, Novel, Sports

Comments(32)

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about 1 year ago Alexandr Lukin said:

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Ringlets

almost 4 years ago Sarah Ashlee said:

I've finally gotten around to reading this, and this is the most amazing thing I have read since... ever. There are scenes where I truly cried, especially the scenes with Galina's parents. It reminds me so much of mine, especially the father. This is a masterpiece and I truly love this!

Zxclgox

about 4 years ago Autumn said:

Wow, totally unexpected ending! I'm hoping to make it to Carnegie Hall one day...and I so hope my time doesn't end like this. :) Really awesome story line. It's definantly new and original.

Ilovethis

about 4 years ago Tadi Nagalu said:

No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IS THIS THE END? OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :''''''''''''C

Reviews(20)

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almost 4 years ago Alice Clarke said:

DISCLAIMER (GOES AT THE TOP OF ALL MY REVIEWS): The following is just my opinion. Please do not be offended by it. If you think I've said something which isn't justified, pick me up on it. I may well agree with you. If you read something of mine and think I'm a hypocrite, I agree. I wish my writing was up to the standards I like to read, but it's not. I deliver this criticism as a reader, not as a writer any better than you.

What I Remember Review, chapter two Part One: Corrections.

I like how you start all your chapters with "I remember."

Fizzles into clarity? The use of this verb didn't work for me here Habits and after that it took us... Try and avoid the use of a comma before and.

Cannot be reached at this time. Again, this sounds a little clunky. I'd use something simple, like we can't reach them right now

Was performing in Carnegie Hall. I know she's hearing fragments of speech, but I'd still have she was, not just was

The man and the sheets, avoid unnecessary commas before and

I'm awake, not I've awakened. Careful not to overdo the language, she's just an ordinary person so she'll think like one

I like the window description. Pretty :)

I didn't, not I hadn't, careful with your tenses

Take out "the reason you're my miracle patient is because" Just have you're lucky to be alive

pain again and my mouth. Again, you don't need the comma here

The doctor sighs; and I hear. I would suggest a semi colon here

Overview. Not as good as chapter one. The description was clunky in places. Remember not to just tell, try and show, don't just state the emotion she feels.

I can't express how much better this would be in the third person. I know it would be a LOT of work changing it, but I really think it would work better

This was still pretty good and I do plan to read more, but it lacked the finesse of your first chapter

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almost 4 years ago Alice Clarke said:

What I Remember Review, chapter one Part One: Corrections. This isn't exactly a correction and most people wouldn't have a problem with it, it's just a pet peeve of mine, but it annoys me when characters speaking in the first person stop to think about the colour of their own hair. I don't tend to think "I will tuck my brown hair behind my ears." I'm referring to the light brown locks part. It isn't really a problem, it's just something that irritates me.

There's been something that's irked me for a while I've been reading. I suppose you can't really change it and won't want to; but I think it's the use of the first person. You talk about her executing perfect moves, and while she is meant to be a talented dancer and no doubt they are perfect, she comes across as vain because it's her saying it. It's lovely description, it just feels wrong coming directly from her.

I would replace male performer with just he

You use a comma before and a few times, try to avoid that

Impressions Very nicely done. Perhaps a tiny bit over written in places, but nothing major. Fabulous ending, very tense, it was well done. The only thing that I didn't like, as I said, was the use of the first person, but I'm sure I'll get over that.