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5 chapters / 7650 words

Approximately 38 minutes to read

Description:

About a year ago Viola Barreras was raped on her birthday. Now a year has passed but she still remembers that horrifying night and to top it off her sister is bulimic,her brother wants to join a gang, her father is a hopeless drunk, and her mother is in jail.Did I mention that she needs to do a Chemistry project with the most popular boy at school?
[ROUGH DRAFT] Not recommended, but if it still tickles your fancy then go ahead ^.^

Genres:

Drama, Romance, Novel

Comments(9)

1234

about 5 years ago Tillman said:

This is a really good book. Can't wait to read more. It's really intriging. I really love the way you write.

-Katie

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over 5 years ago Eymahnia Mayfield said:

Can't wait for the next chapter!!!! :D

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over 5 years ago S@R@H said:

please upload more!!!!! i can't wait to read it!

Photo on 2011-03-22 at 14.36

almost 6 years ago Sarah Easley said:

I read the first chapter, really good premise. My advice would be to run this through a spell checker, and maybe proof-read a little more. I'm not going to point the issues out, It'd be better if you found them. Great story though. I feel as though your reader would connect with the audience better if you showed, rather than spoon-fed the story to us. It's a really nice premise, though. Good job.

Reviews(2)

Whimsically_me.128.146869

over 4 years ago Whimsically_Me said:

This is really good, I love Viola and Ned, although it's still pretty early in the book to know exactly what side Ned and Carl are on. Here are some things I noticed: Chapter 1. “even though I only one friend” I think you’re missing a word. Maybe you should add ‘have’ in between ‘only’ and ‘one’. Chapter 2. “Carl and I sit in out seet which we got to pick.” I believe ‘seet’ is supposed to be ‘seat’. Also in chapter 2. “’She’s okay. Thanks for saking,’ He responds politely.” I think you mean to say, “’She’s okay. Thanks for asking,’ he responds politely.” Also in chapter 2. “’So what?’ I ask confussed.” You have one to many S’s in ‘confused’. Again in chapter 2. “and I head to the kitchen to start diner.” And “’uh, good. So, what’s for diner?’ she asks as she grabs a Milky Way from her bag.” Both have ‘dinner’ spelled as ‘diner’ (as in a restaurant). Again in chapter 2. “’Diner was delicious,’ she says trying to form a smile.” Ok, so here you spelled ‘dinner’ ‘diner’ again. Chapter 3. “,but I don’t wnat to bother my father coming to school” I think should be changed to “,but I don’t want to bother my father with coming to school”. Chapter 4. “’Ouch!’ I rub my forehead while Ned laughs st the sight of me being in pain.” I’m guessing ‘st’ is supposed to be ‘at’. Also in chapter 4. “His pair of of brown eyes sparks in delight when he smiles” You have a repeated word, you might want to think about deleting one of them. Also in chapter 4, and in same paragraph as the one above^. “The srtucture of his body is long and lean,” A misplaced letter, just move the ‘r’ to in between the ‘t’ nd the ‘u’. I know it's a lot, but I did skip a few and I'm just trying to help you improve your story. I do think this story has great potential to become a published book one day if that is what you wish to do with it. Well done, and I really hope you continue!

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about 6 years ago A.S.M. Michellins said:

Perfect.