Heart Stop

Heart Stop

1 chapter / 746 words

Approximately 4 minutes to read


*Finalist in the Fan Fiction Contest.* When Jacob finds out the pain of imprinting on Bella, and the consequences of loving someone you only thought loved you.(Sorry for all those who don't like Twilight, which are most of you). I just started watching Twilight and I'm not saying I'm a fan, but I do admire Jacob! *notice: I wrote this after watching Eclipse. Now that I've seen Breaking Dawn, I know why everyone hates Twilight*

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over 4 years ago T. M. Wolfe said:

*Thanks for reading Solitude!* Okay, so I honestly hate Twilight. The books more than the movies. But this was honestly very well written. Better than Stephanie Meyer's horrible word choice and awful descriptions. Sorry. Anyhow, I really liked this! And that really says something because I hate twilight. A lot. Your writing style is very fluid and your imagery is exceptional! You're much better than that awful writer could ever be! Good job and good luck in the contest!! (:


over 4 years ago Abbey said:

You have some great imagery in here, and I love the simile you used of Bella and a magnet. Some of it seemed a little too conversational, and then you would throw in a stronger, non-conversational word like writhe, which threw off the style a little. If anything, I would either make the entire piece conversational, or try to sophisticate the conversational parts to match the non-conversational parts, if that makes any sense at all. (For example, using the word "boy" as in "boy, that was some tasty ice cream"--I don't remember your words so this is my best example--would be a conversational style of writing). I have never read any of the "Twilight" books or seen any of the movies, so I have nothing with which to compare you piece, but I thoroughly enjoyed it! Overall, the writing was great, and like I said, you have an awesome use of imagery! Great job and best of luck in the contest! :D