Under Siege

Under Siege

1 chapter / 746 words

Approximately 4 minutes to read


***For summer fanfic contest. FINALIST!***

Cover credit! Thanks Glowing Star for the beautiful cover!

IMPORTANT: I purposely used Uranus. Uranus was the primal Greek god personifying the sky. His equivalent in Roman mythology was Caelus from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uranus_(mythology) has stated that Uranus is indeed GREEK. If you want to argue with Wikia that it is wrong, then I can leave you to do that. I just saw a few comments, and thought that I would clear that up for you, and that I do know what I am writing about. Thank you.

(my orignal OC) I am Talia Stoll, yes daughter of Travis Stoll. We are fighting a war. A war that is getting out of hand. I'm afraid we are going to lose. If we lose, we lose everything. That why we must win.

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about 2 years ago Rachel D. said:

This is really good! I like the smooth flow and then the sudden stop at the end. I'm really intrigued to find out how this finishes out.


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over 3 years ago Shammi said:

Amazing story!! I also love the cover design. Wonderful job!! :D

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about 4 years ago Griffin Raynor said:

I like this concept, and the MC. I think it needs more detail. I would suggest third person, and having the beginning be deceivingly peaceful, setting up the emotional value of the characters and their relationships so we care more that they're dying.

This sentence: "The pillar of fire....setting the city of Manhattan on fire," seems a bit awkward to me due to the repetition of the word fire.

Another battle in Manhattan, with many of the same enemies may cheapen the story. Also, is the MC's name coincidence? Thalia, Talia?