The Gladiator

The Gladiator

50 chapters / 119810 words

Approximately about 10 hours to read


Book 1 of the Elvore Series. This is what happened when I asked myself, "What would it be like if everybody had superpowers?" I've been refining the idea since I was, like, eleven. Constructive criticism is much appreciated, and thank you in advance for it.


Fantasy, Novel, Serial



about 4 years ago Katie Miller said:

I'm sorry my comments got all jumbled in Chapter Two. I typed it in a new program and when I copy and pasted it it got all messed up. Hope it's legible! Let me know if you want me to re-submit it.


over 4 years ago Gracie Welling said:



over 4 years ago Gracie Welling said:

Dude, I know I have told you this a million times, but this book is soooo gooood. :3 Keep writing!!


over 4 years ago Melannie Poston said:

This has been a great read. Keep writing!



over 3 years ago Katie Miller said:

Chapter Thirty-Eight

- I like how you throw us into every scene at precisely the right moment. I have the problem of thinking I need follow-up to everything. You push us right into the gladiator scene. It’s perfect.

- Uh oh, the other Corvan’s power is broken. Still, at that moment when it doesn’t work, add a paragraph or so in there about the absolute horror going through his head. Imagine what it would be like to wake up and suddenly not be able to speak or use your hands…I assume it would be something like that.

- To be honest, the yield seemed a little too easy. I like that you make a “no-win-scenario” (Star Trek anyone?), but when you get to the solution, it’s sort of…disappointing. Why would anyone yield if she were holding the blade that loosely that he could just move out of the way by jumping. Picture this, Cain Corvan for the first time can’t use his ability. His mind starts to get foggy; he feels the blade pressed against his shoulder. What can he do? He can’t lose—that would stab his Corvan pride. So, without much logical thought and a sassy comeback he pulls himself up, letting the blade stab through him to grab her grip. He rips it out of her hand. She’s totally shocked and stumbles back. He stands and tears it out of his shoulder. He pushes it to her neck. Totally stunned, she yields without thinking. Then, Cain passes out. I don’t know, I just think that would be totally stellar and unexpected. It would require some rewrite (more than usual), because you’d have to factor in the injury into some of the later chapters…or you could just have a healer fix it up and then focus on the fact that he was unable to use his ability…I hope that makes sense.

- Is there something that stunts these people’s abilities while in prison? It seems like a building alone would be useless…especially if all the more powerful were crammed in one place.

- Payne said he’d beaten her loads of times…why wasn’t his ability listed in the ones she’s fought?

- So, does electricity mess with the little electric pulses in your brain when you do something? Kind of fries the controls?

Chapter Thirty-Nine:

- Lol, I can’t decide if this game is entirely pointless or entirely perfect for individuals with intangibility and teleportation.

- I don’t understand how she won? Isn’t she cheating by moving the ball? Why didn’t she just teleport him to run in the other direction?

- “I always keep score.” For some reason, I love that. It is such a killer catch phrase. Please tell me she says that more?

- Who is this face? Gosh…I can’t wait to see.

- Something I’ve noticed in the past few chapters is the improvement of your voice. The voice matches the situation, being more biased one way or the other depending on the scene. There’s a lot less telling and the prose has overall become less long winded and redundant. I am not sure if that’s because I am nearing the end and you’re ready to be done or… Anyway, it’s awesome. 


over 3 years ago Katie Miller said:

Chapter Thirty-Six

- I hate it when people tell celebrities what to write on their signatures. This lady would irk me.

- “The Black Death”…how original (mocking Payne, not you)

- Wow, seeing Payne flinch before Martin is really powerful. It’s really interesting to see the struggles between trying to be the best and trying to keep his head (literally). He’ll say something sassy to Martin as though to prove to himself that he’s still superior…but then Martin knocks him right off his pedestal. It’s awesome.

- I picture Joey Staple like James Corden.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

- Oh, he’s actually there. Woops. I thought we were in a flashback in The Archives. Maybe there’s a way you can make that more clear? I don’t know. It’s probably just me.

- #FortuneTellerProbs

- “Offered a wide smile.” I love the way that’s worded.

- I like the concept of the fog a lot. It brings forth a really interesting conflict. Normally, with Corvan pride, the whole stress thing is really a problem. It’s also interesting to think that because of Ryan’s traits, he’s able to be a fortune teller. The average person wouldn’t be able to keep their cool when knives were being thrown or they just bet their whole life savings on one Rachte game. Ryan can.

- “Vindictive” – New Word. Totally using it.

Really good two chapters. I can see the wheels turning a little faster. I hope to be getting into the climax soon! I really don’t know what direction this is going to go or what even the climax would be, which I sort of like. In certain stories you can tell the climax is going to be a specific war, a specific death, or a specific fight…but here I really don’t know. I really dig that.