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Approximately about 1 hour to read
I cannot think of a good description...
almost 3 years ago Isabel Filippone said:
I liked this a lot. The descriptions were very nice and not overbearing. It also flowed very well. I think the prologue did a great job of getting my attention.I do think the dialogue could have been a bit better and I didn't think you needed to capitalize that section where she yelled. Other than that I thought it was a great job!
about 3 years ago CeceO (On&off) said:
I read up to Chapter 4 and I must admit that I don't usually read books like this. But the beginning has a interesting hook that leads on to a reader to read more. Good job
about 3 years ago Alyssa Elaine said:
Seriously loved the descriptions alone with the time period dialogue. I always admire an author that can pull it off, because there are very few who can.
about 3 years ago Katie ZaBAM said:
Ahhhhh I love this so far! I've always been a fan of the knights concept so I knew I would like this right off the bat. You're a really, really good writer. The description just pulls the reader in. I like how you distinguish the characters with the slang-y and old-time dialogue as well. This does have a very cool, unique vibe to it and I'll definitely have to read more once I finish my swaps :) Awesome job and happy writing!
about 3 years ago Lindsey Hull said:
Thank you so much for your review on my story "Hitler's Reason"! It is much appreciated!
Great beginning to a story! I like how the charcters speak differently, making this story even more unique! I feel like it is a good opening and it helps the reader become curious, but I also feel like it's almost unneccasary. You got us hooked, but I feel like it doesn't say or tell much, therefore it's almost not important. But that's just my opinion.
~Chapter 1 & 2~
Chapter one was a good chapter but it felt like it was too short. Where you cut it off at was a weird place and I feel as though you could've added chapter two to chapter one to make it longer. I say that because, not only is chapter one quiet short, but it lacks a hook to grab the reader in. The ending of chapter two did have a hook to grab a reader's attention. So I feel like if you just made chapter one and two the same chapter, it would work out and help a lot more. I don't know why you made them so short and separate from each other, some people do it to make easier for swaps and stuff on here, but make it longer. It's a little more professional and if you're wanting to make this into an actual book and get it published, longer chapters help make it into a novel.
Other than that, I liked it! It was well written and this could go far! Just some minor editing! Great job! :)
over 3 years ago stardustandmemes said:
I read up to chapter eight, and I am impressed. This is very well written, and I could clearly understand most of it. But the whole hadryn thing is a little confusing. Does Zenovia (I'm sorry if I get any of the names wrong) live in our modern world, in Chicago? It's a little out-of-genre, but I can sorta see interdimensional travel in fantasy. Like Narnia, I guess.
There weren't many typos or grammatical errors, nice! But the dialect (that's the word, right? Ahahaha it's winter break still for me) from the prologue to the chapters is a little confusing. Did it happen years before Chapter One, or recently? If it happened years before, you could maybe put a "blank years ago" or something like that in the prologue.
I look forward to reading the rest of the chapters!