The Protecters.

The Protecters.

5 chapters / 35439 words

Approximately about 3 hours to read

Description:

Please... please just don't read this. I'm keeping it up for the comments you guys gave but in all honesty, I wrote this when I was 13. XD

Genres:

Action, Comedy, Drama

Comments(16)

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about 4 years ago Vivi Aloha said:

The new version is great! My favorite part is Brad; he's hilarious! I think the descriptions in this version are better as well, great job!

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over 4 years ago Vivi Aloha said:

Loved the update! Are you going to add to this chapter because it's a lot shorter than the rest?

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over 4 years ago Vivi Aloha said:

I love the cat's name!!! It's so interesting that the mother wants her daughter to break her evil father out of jail. It's not cliche at all. I'm loving this story. Great job Figment Friend!

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over 4 years ago Trail of Glitter said:

This was nice. I enjoyed reading this piece. But you might want to describe your MC a little more. Her likes/dislikes. At the beginning, you need to have a hook. I still read it, but you need a hook. If not, it doesn't really matter because it's good without it.

Reviews(4)

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about 4 years ago Britain said:

I would say it needs word building but I am fine with that the heroine is somewhat mean to her mum. It goes against the assumed belief that heroes and heroines are perfect. I would give it a 7.5 maybe. Good work. I'm glad that you're thinking about that sort of thing. It shows innative but it is hard to do and you must be prepared for that.

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over 4 years ago Christopher Wells said:

Well, this is a good start, but it is not ready for publishing. The beginning is fine, but it needs more world building. And the characters are okay,but the heroin seems like a bit of a jerk towards her mother. I understand she's a 'teenager' and that she needs to have the attitude, but she honestly isn't that likable. And if you are going to publish it, keep the idea, but change somethings, like the characters personalities and physical descriptions. Overall, I'll give it a 7. It's a good effort, and a great idea, but it needs work.