Every Other Year

Every Other Year

6 chapters / 3647 words

Approximately 18 minutes to read

Description:

In Progress! Cover Credit to Jezebel Katerina! In a world that is supposed to deny all curiosity, human needs can not be defied.

Genres:

Writing, Dystopian, Novel

Comments(24)

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about 4 years ago Addison Boone said:

SO sorry it took me this long!!!!!! This was a very interesting concept and I enjoyed this story very much:) Thankyou so much for the swap, and again I'm sorry I took so long!

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over 4 years ago Marae Keenly said:

Just a few small grammar critiques:

Tapping not taping.

Little girl's not little girls.

Maybe use a different word besides "scatter", it doesn't really apply to individuals.

Great prologue - the final sentence about "The Terminator" giving her goosebumps is very powerful. I will keep reading! :)

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over 4 years ago Selena Brooks said:

Love this. You have great description and this would make an amazing novel. Keep it up!

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over 4 years ago Lydia DeVincent said:

I read the first chapter. I really liked it! :) It kept me captivated, and I really liked your ideas. Great job! :)

Reviews(12)

Yes

over 4 years ago Tristin Dabrowski said:

Chapter four:

This chapter is a bit short. I feel like you can expand on these chapters somehow and make them longer. Just as long as you fill it with interesting stuff and not with unnecessary padding.

I'm starting to wonder if there's a good reason to why people are deleted when they die. I really hope you eventually explain this.

Also, the dialogue seems to be very wooden at certain times, at least to me. On the bright side, your prose is still nice and I do like the setting that you're painting.

Yes

over 4 years ago Tristin Dabrowski said:

Chapter 3:

From the start, I see a problem. There should be a comma when you write "Later Ford"

I think the main problem with the narrative as a whole is that there's not much to go on, here. The setting seems interesting, but it needs to be explained more. Right now, I have no reason to like or relate to Ford or any other character for that matter.

I also have a problem with Themany like the reviewer below. What is it?

The description is still good here, but I think you can expand on it.

Overall, you have a good concept thus far, but I think you can make it much better. Hopefully this all sorts itself out in later chapters.