1 chapter / 758 words

Approximately 4 minutes to read


-UNDER CONSTRUCTION- My first complete science fiction story. Please comment and criticize! Not for swaps, though.
When the local food supply has been contaminated with a crippling poison, track star Jeremy O'Connor falls victim to the consequences of all who are not perfect in his society. Finalist for the Utopia Contest.


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about 6 years ago Shelbie Patterson said:

please follow me :)

New hair 1

about 6 years ago Shelbie Patterson said:

wait, why would they inject him and everyone else with more poison? and wheres the parents in all this? this is a great story, i just have those questions.


over 6 years ago Aurora Sanders said:

I love it, great job in managing within the word limit. So dramatic.

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over 6 years ago Milan . said:

Geez, how creepy. Although some of the dialogue/thoughts are a bit dramatic in my opinion, I think that overall it was well written. You may think I'm a bit odd for it, but I liked the ending :)



over 6 years ago NinjaChoi said:

hehehehe i love this. its a little stuff, needs to flow smoother but either way. its great. :3


over 6 years ago Roberta H. Shapiro said:

Really, it also shows he's self-centered, doesn't want to follow rules, and only cares about track. This is so because he jumped on the couch when people told him not to, thought that nothing would happen to him, but still respected the Coach.

And on smoothening the edges because I have a lot of time. :)