The Mighty Angels

The Mighty Angels

1 chapter / 99 words

Approximately half a minute to read

Genres:

Writing, Drama, Poetry

Tags:

Comments(5)

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over 3 years ago Ainsley Rose said:

"a ghost in a pretentious town" -- beautiful imagery.

- A

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almost 5 years ago Summer Ross said:

love this <<

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about 4 years ago Jihye said:

I love the first two lines of your poem. It captures the essence of the poem perfectly. I also love the amount of emotion in this with just those few words. Keep writing because I really love what your work.

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about 4 years ago Alexandra Edwardson said:

I love this poem so much! I liked your word choice and the words flowed smoothly. Good job!!

Reviews(2)

Nosering

about 4 years ago Dahni said:

I really loved this. Especially the first line, "I'm a ghost in a pretentious town."

The beat of the poem, the wording, it all seems to really fit together, but for some reason this feels the tiniest bit forced to me, like the poem's trying a bit too hard to tell a story.

Some advice: When writing poetry, you don't always have to have the poem tell a story. In fact, you don't even need to have a story in mind. Just let your pen flow, and if something doesn't fit, cut it. Have you ever heard the term, "Kill your darlings"? That would be very applicable: even if you love a certain line, if it's making the poem awkward, cut it.

Also, don't be afraid to do free verse! Rhyming in poetry is nice, but if you have to sacrifice some of the poem to do it (I'll explain what I mean next), don't do it.

Let the poem breathe. Instead of you telling the poem what to do, let the poem roll around in your head and boss you around. You'll find that the poem really knows its stuff. ;)

One more thing: I feel like you're trying to emphasize the word "angel" in this poem too heavily. The same goes for "mighty" and "fall"/"fallen". Let the reader interpret this by using different words and phrases to describe these same things. An example of that would be, instead of using "as if you're the angels", use "as if you have risen". (Of course don't use that example, but just to show you what I mean.)

And WHOA, that was long! Sorry for the long review, and it may seem a bit harsh, but I'm just trying to be really honest about how I feel and help you out. This poem has a lot of potential, and if you polish it up, I'm sure it'll be mightier than these angels. ;)

~Genie~

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about 4 years ago v.c. snow said:

This is such a beautiful poem. I love your story-telling in this and your writing style is just great. This makes me like poems now. :P As the actual "poem" itself, I can't critique it because I have no idea how to write them. So great job!