Voice in the Wind

Voice in the Wind

5 chapters / 4591 words

Approximately 23 minutes to read

Description:

ON HOLD



A girl is found in the forest with no memories of anything, but a boy recognizes her. She hears voices when the wind blows and she sees faceless ghosts wandering around her ... or maybe her memories are finally coming back?

[Cover Creds to Eris Blackburn]

© COPYRIGHT 2013 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!

Genres:

Mystery, Romance, Novel

Comments(10)

Ayn rand quote

almost 4 years ago Amariah C (Milly A. Conrad) said:

Hey Alyka! Very interesting concept with lots of intrigue! Who is the "Princess" narrator? Who is Ren? What is the huge secret they're keeping from her? The fact that they all KNOW she lost her memories and are completely fine with is leads me to believe they had a role to play in the loosing of her memories. (Sorry, that was a really bad sentence, but you get the idea.) If that isn't what you intended, then try to re-word it :)

Other than that, though, this is amazing!!! I didn't find any grammatical errors, and it sucked me right in! Cool idea, cool plot so far, cool everything! I want to know more, Alyka!!! Post the next chapter!!!!

_nec!a_

almost 4 years ago Abigail Black said:

I really liked this! I liked the description you used, like when the leaves blew in the wind, and I found it interesting to see things from the point of view of a girl who's suffering from memory loss. This was really an amazing piece of work and I and I think you're an amazing writer! Keep up the good work! ;)

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almost 4 years ago Nicole said:

I have to say, I think the title is what drew me to this piece, and it definitely fits in well with the plot line. I think it's neat to be watching this all unfold from the mind of someone who doesn't know who she is. :) This is great and I'm sure more twists and turns are coming soon!

Milan london

almost 4 years ago mena london said:

I live this totally rare concept! This could be like a horror or sci-fi / romance thing! Great idea with a great writer attached. :)

Reviews(5)

Prof

over 3 years ago Lily Chen said:

The topic of memory loss has been a popular one among writers for years now, almost to the point of cliche. I read the first chapter, and the sensory detail in it was very good. Writing from the point of view of a person who doesn't remember anything is tough enough but I think you did a pretty good job. I just think you might be relying too much on it, even going so far as to have the narrator forget certain words. All in all, it made for an interesting read. Happy writing!

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almost 4 years ago Emily Cates said:

Voice in the Wind: Chapter 3

Hey there! As you know all comments below are just suggestions to better your work. I really love this piece so far and just want to help you improve it. That being said, take or leave anything I say, this is your work and everything is up to you.

Grammar

1) Didn’t catch anything this time! The same thing goes, though. You might want to add more sentence variation!

Plot & Ideas

1) You still continue to convey Rose perfectly!

2) I wasn’t sure exactly why they were going back into the forest. Then again, I’m still not sure how Rose and Ren are related. I am assuming they were in love at one point, but I’m not sure. You’ll probably clear this up later, I just wanted to voice my questions.

3) Throughout the entire third chapter I had a lot of questions that weren’t really answered. It was more about the basic plot of the entire story than what was going on. You might want to add a prologue in to the beginning of the story to give more background information on Rose’s life.

4) I really like the little flashbacks we’re starting to get because they’re very helpful in trying to figure out what is going on in the story. Great work on those!

5) I also love the little details you add. When the women in the cloak with the raspy voice speaks and Rose immediately reacts by clutching her own throat you add more depth into the story, making it more enjoyable. Great work!!

-E.A.C.