7 chapters / 17060 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read


the scraps of a novel i wrote when i was more of a dreamer


Novel, Adventure, Fantasy
  • 151
  • 13
  • 14
  • 39
  • 4
  • 96



about 1 year ago Tech said:

This is very good and has a story line that is compelling. It gets a bit more confusing as it progresses, but I expect that in future chapters it will be made clear what the government is doing. I can *imagine* this story going off in a whole plethora of directions. :)


almost 3 years ago Abigayle Mullins said:

Hey, it's been a while since I've been on Figment and I'm just now reading more of this. So glad you wrote more! :) I'm on Chapter Two for now and oh my gosh I almost cried. I love it and can't wait to read more. :)


almost 3 years ago Marlo Chewwie said:

I liked it. Go for it again. Try it out.


about 3 years ago Maryam Naz said:

Is there any way I can collaborate with you?

I understand your upset now, but I understand



almost 3 years ago Becka Marie said:

First of all I really like how original this is, it's an interesting idea. I also love the story line in this. The whole story is very creative and I have to mention that I love the cover! Your writing style is great as well! The more I read, the more amazing it was. I also wanted to mention that I like what you did with the count down, the line in between each number, I think that's a great idea! Aurorius is a very uniqiqe character, this whole story was filled with unique concepts and ideas, I loved every weird! Great Job!

29:01:2015 rwstriped

over 3 years ago Alyssa Carlier said:

I'll just go along each chapter acc. Figment numbering and note down some thoughts :)

Ch. 2

- I keep misreading Imaginadium as Imaginarium

- It seems like Aurorius already knows everything he's being told, and the exposition pulls me out of the story. Maybe weave in these ideas? e.g. Aurorius could think, "I just need to keep him contained for ten minutes to win." or "This isn't an Academy match, no judge is going to save me." Not the best, but you get the idea.

- The younger you are, the more power you possess --> shouldn't experience count for something? Learning how to effectively use your power? It's 7 years extra of learning how to defeat other people better, plus why don't they do year group comps instead then?

- Decent midchapter cliffhanger, but I feel it tempts the reader to just skip

- again, the Violynn/Aurorius convo feels exposition-y

- uh, why exactly does he forget this rule? Is he nervous, or what?

- It's personal, but I don't really like plot-important dreams unless they're induced by a third party.

Hope that was helpful! It's an intriguing premise, but I think we could have a couple of scenes establishing the world and character before leaping straight into action. Right now I'm just like "Woah, battle! Interesting powers! Flashback! Dreams!" and it's a little too fast for me to be rooted in your world.