The Best Christmas Present

The Best Christmas Present

1 chapter / 125 words

Approximately half a minute to read

Genres:

Writing, Short Story

Comments(4)

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over 6 years ago Bhavana said:

That is so amazing :)

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over 6 years ago SK said:

Yes - adorable. Really good! Keep it up! :) thanks for the follow

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over 6 years ago The Writing Rose (original) said:

;) That was adorable. Keep writing!

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over 6 years ago Elizabeth Anne said:

When he came home was the best because I loved him so much that I would even change his diapers just so that I could hold him.

Reviews(2)

Reading

over 6 years ago Olive said:

I realized that AFTER I wrote it.. I sound like a jerk now :'(

Anyway of deleting reviews??

Reading

over 6 years ago Olive said:

Awee!! That was SUCH an adorable read. I don't remember when my brother was born to well. Pretty fuzzy. The only thing I do remember is me playing in the play area with Winnie the Pooh, haha. Errors here and there that I'd like to point out: "When my mom was having her stomach hurt a came home and dad took her to the hospital..." -- Try rewording it like this "When my mom's stomach started to hurt, she came home. When she told dad he took her to the hospital." "...have a baby." -- What about changing 'a' to 'the'? "We had to wait like 2 hours until mom was done we could see the baby." -- Comma's before and after the like!! And the second half of that sentence was a bit iffy. Try "..until mom had the baby before we could see the baby." "...just met that was.." -- Instead of 'that' try 'who'. "My Uncle is in the army and he was there to see my new brother." -- What about this "My Uncle, who is in the army, had been fortunate to be at the hospital to see my new brother."

Other than that, it was nice. Having a new sibling makes it amazing. I remember that I couldn't stop carrying my baby brother. Now he's really annoying, being 12 years old.