Fly to the Sky

Fly to the Sky

1 chapter / 84 words

Approximately half a minute to read

Description:

Poem!

Genres:

Writing, Fantasy, Poetry

Comments(12)

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over 3 years ago Spyder (Online?) said:

Whoa...amazing! Makes me think of moments I spent as a toddler, in a flower field. Very, very...perfect. The only word to describe this poem: Perfectness.

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over 3 years ago Sairah Kohaisch said:

It's a bit confusing how you make some parts rhyme and others not. It's not really a problem if it doesn't interfere with the rhythm and flow of the poem, but unfortunately, here it does. I know its hard, but try either finding another rhyme for the line ending with "sun" or completely eliminate all the parts that rhyme.

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over 3 years ago Mermaid Annabella said:

"To south we go traveling with the geese" -- awkward. Try either adding a "the" after "to" and adding a comma after "go" and getting rid of the "the" before "geese" -- or, if that's too complicated-sounding, try just adding a comma after "go".

"When the flowers sing" -- try adding "begin to" before "sing".

"To then we fly back" -- awkward/confusing.

Cute poem, you painted a good picture and it has a strong vocabulary. Definitely deserving of a heart :)

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over 3 years ago crowned a star said:

It was awesome Sis!

Reviews(2)

My quotes

almost 4 years ago Aimee Bourey said:

Great concept :) Yeah yeah, there are a few little execution errors, but you're capable of fixing them. For poetry? Try and sing it. Make sure there's a cadence to it and you'll be golden! Sometimes it helps to set parameters on yourself (like, so many syllables per line or whatever) but I think this poem is more fun and free than that. It's a great poem, though. Poetry is something that you can't really judge because it's a living, breathing thing. (If you have trouble picking words, look up SAT vocab. I feel like it usually helps me find obscure words in poems and it helps me study! Wee!) I'd love to read your story as well, but it looks like it's under construction right now...? Whenever you get it up and running I'll look at it for sure. The story I asked you to read is a bit long, and it's only fair. :)

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almost 4 years ago Im Batman in disguise said:

I know I was never really good at poems i always messed them up I will try to fix things up a little bit. In the meantime i will stick with stories instead of poems.