The Last to Die

The Last to Die

1 chapter / 113 words

Approximately half a minute to read

Description:

It's time to die.....

Genres:

Horror, Poetry

Comments(6)

Bugabuga

over 2 years ago Veronica K. said:

This was a very intriguing peace of poetry, I didn't really spot any grammar mistakes and I think that you fixed everything that your other reviews stated. So thank you for sharing this with me.

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over 3 years ago Zombies, Eat Flesh!:P said:

A truly great piece!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keystroke

almost 4 years ago Hannah W. said:

For some reason, this poem reminded me of the Holocaust... it may be what you intended, or perhaps I was slightly influenced by the World War II essay I'm currently writing...

But anyway, I liked this poem. I could feel the darker emotions behind it, and I must say, good job.

Cool kids can't die

almost 4 years ago ejf said:

This was kind of terrifying, but I liked the rhyme scheme. I think you said 'loose' instead of 'lose' at some point, but that's just minor. Other than that it was intriguing!

Reviews(5)

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over 3 years ago Hannah VanSkike said:

Wow! I haven't really read anything like that before. Good job on writing this! Keep up the good work and happy writing.

Candles

over 3 years ago Alyssa said:

Grammar(ish): "I don't believe, [and] yet I prayed" "scared, [and] yet I" added comas, 'and's; "Sobbing" then "will not cry" contradicting yourself a bit.

Suggestions: "religion is not something we choose" I would beg to differ. I understand what you're trying to say, but try rewording this. 'Jewish' is both a race and a religion so...

Things I Liked: The rhyme gave it a nice flow and rhythm that led to a great ending rhyme. You portrayed the horror of WWII really well; it's a much needed reminder that we must not let such a tragedy happen again. Great work.