The Halloween Kidnapping

The Halloween Kidnapping

1 chapter / 1332 words

Approximately 7 minutes to read


(OLD) Cover by my awesome sister Rose! Ask her for one!



about 2 years ago Myranda Hosley said:

It's a good start so far! I can relate to the older brother, it's something I did for a while as a teen lol. Again, good job :) Keep writing!

Rachael 01

about 2 years ago R. E. Durbin said:

Well, that's an ominous thing to end the story on. "Pretend I never existed." Yeah...not something oyu should say in a horror story. Nope. Nothing good shall come of this. *grins wide* Great news for us readers, no? Muahahahahaha!!

I like the how Chris is the emo, older brother who can't be bothered to really want to interact with his little brother. His sibling is more a chore right now than anything else. It rings true (seen it happen in many of my own siblings and friends). I just hope he comes to appreciate his little brother later on.

That police woman is somehow in on this. I just know it. :D


about 2 years ago Arietta Coleman said:

Hi! I think its a good start so far. The older brother is well written so far. I can relate because there are tons of kids like that today. Rebal like who don't give a crap about anything, its sad. I honestly think Wyatt is annoying for a little brother, lol. If I had a little brother like that (I only have a older brother) I would go crazy, lol. I like how the mom is conserning but like the brother said, a little to overcaring. Seems to make little things into a big deal. Can relate to that to, lol. My mom is like that but not in a good way sometimes. Anyway great plot and I hope you write soon what happens to the children. If they are pulled into another scary universe or killed or something.


about 2 years ago Danielle Coleman said:

Hey Margaret, this is a great start of a story. Would you be willing to swap and read my story All of Me? It is not complete yet but I would appreciate it all the same.



about 2 years ago Saffron City said:

This is a nice beginning! It was refreshing to read and all the conversations seemed real. I do wonder why the main character was so, um, hateful. It seemed a little too short for my taste, and I would've liked a bit more descriptions and information about the police officers. How come they weren't there surrounding the house or something? And, I also felt that you didn't exactly set the ominous mood about the whole kidnapper person. Maybe if you showed the fear of the police officers a bit more, then the reader will wondering about why the kidnapper is so frightening. And I think you could've stretched out the first chapter, adding more exciting details. But besides from that, the story was really enjoyable!


about 2 years ago carlie stanco said:

Great story, just explain a little bit more and Please write a second chapter! :)