1 chapter / 313 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read


Love is sometimes a trap.


Writing, Short Story



over 5 years ago electro_grim said:

hey there:) this short story was great:) I was at the edge of my bed thinking is it real or is he just some kind of psycho. Then I realized that he was a psycho when she said that he looked to old to be a freshmen. I hope you continue writing I would really like to know what happens next:D I was wondering if you would be so kind as to read my story Eros please and thank you:) -PP

Dryas julia

over 6 years ago Hope said:

Oh my gosh. This piece is absolutely fantastic and really caught me off guard. I love that it's so short because it really emphasizes the point that it could happen that fast. One thing I will say is to develop Juliet's trust in Ian a bit more, maybe discuss the time they'd been talking to one another, what personal things they had exchanged. Make the enchantment real. I really enjoyed this piece.

Photo on 2-25-12 at 3.37 pm

over 6 years ago Izzy Skissorhands said:

Nice! Shocking! Pow!


over 6 years ago Anon Y. Mouse said:

...wow...oh my god. that was...that was so sasd! God, i hated the ending! (i mean, i loved it, but you know :P) that was so good! i loved the twist. the only porblem is that i think you need a transition into the end; it's a little abrupt.



over 6 years ago Will Fisher said:

This reminds me of a play I watched.

Pros: You created a nice sense of urgency and faith with your characters thoughts and actions. And a nice cliffhanger.

Cons: Some description of the location would be nice. Just to give us a basis for how it looks. Something that tells us stuff like where the character's location are important.


over 6 years ago Roberta H. Shapiro said:

I really like it. To enhance it, try adding more description.