The Life of a Lily

The Life of a Lily

7 chapters / 13507 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read

Description:

"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because some day in your life you will have been all of these." ~George Washington Carver

Genres:

Writing, Novel

Comments(16)

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over 3 years ago Yuki Phantomhive said:

This is very interesting subject. One of my close friends tried to commit suicide. She failed. Thank god. Anyway~ I think that this was a great! I think you should add a little background at the beginning about her trying to commit suicide. Over all its all very good. ~yuki

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over 3 years ago Lindsey Hazel Allaire said:

Wow, I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back to you. In a way, I am glad I did, because when I first came to read this, it only had one chapter. But now it has four, and I couldn't stop reading. Your character's voice is compelling, and I absolutely loved how you described everything - detail, but not too much detail. I love the character's attitude towards Dr. America. It flowed smoothly and well. I really enjoyed this piece.

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over 3 years ago Pure Innocence said:

I really like this piece. I like how you approached many different ideas. You didn't just focus on one idea of like the Big Bang or God. I really appreciate that because most people are biased. I usually don't like it when people add swearing because it is usually unnecessary. In this piece, though I didn't like it at first, I looked back it and I really think that it added to the affect that this girl was angry with the world. And in a way it complimented the piece. Overall well done I really enjoyed it. Keep on writing.

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over 3 years ago Alex said:

wow, I can honestly say that I was very impressed with your story, I absolutely loved it. It sounded quite like a book that must have been published and I've luckily managed to stumble across it. Well done.

Reviews(7)

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over 3 years ago Lilia Rose said:

I like the topic you have chosen (it makes me think and want to dive deeper into the story), but I don't think the swearing was really necessary. The swearing did not really contribute to the story other than the fact that Lily knew many swear words. Some people, especially teachers, may not like the swearing, and stop reading. The style of the your writing was nice, but the beginning could use some editing. Most people would stop reading if the start of the story isn't very clear or not interesting. At first, I thought the setting was a classroom, so I was a little confused when Lily said she committed suicide. Overall, I think it needs a little work, but you have good starting point.

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over 3 years ago Artemis J. Potter said:

This is definitely a thought-provoking piece. I know we've all had times where we've asked, "Why are we here?" (I know I have multiple times). And we never have a definite answer. Life, when you stop to think what it really is all about, is mysterious.

Now I don't want to sound rude, but there were some things in this story that I didn't like/thought could be changed:

The beginning: This part confused me. I didn't know what the story was about until later. So I think this could be clarified more.

The swearing: I don't have a big problem with profanity, in fact I just see them as words like other words in a dictionary, but it felt a little excessive at times. Since swearing is meant for Lytton an emphasis on something or giving it shock value, it felt a bit forced. You also might want to keep in mind that there are people as young as 13 on here who may feel surprised/offended at the use of the F word.

Other than that, though, I think this piece was written well. It certainly makes you think.