Adarabella

Adarabella

17 chapters / 20128 words

Approximately about 2 hours to read

Description:

Never to Love.

The curse that can't be broken.

The only truth that makes sense.

But what happens when you try to kill -lets just say- some really hot guy who -lets just say- makes you lose every ounce of control with just one look? Oh and some arrogant Angel dude likes to posses him... who you might just have on Beck and Call.

This isn't the normal love story that's for sure. When your soul bound to your (sorta) twin brother who you are destined to be co-rulers of ALL the worlds with.. well life gets a little messy.

Not to mention your father is the devil and you have crazy powers.

Alright, so you have nothing under control and your destiny is to be in love with your evil brother... ew? yes. But cruel fathers -like Satan- do that to their kids.

But maybe, just maybe, if you can break that curse and fall in love with someone other than your brother... well maybe your whole destiny will change with it.

Or maybe not. I guess Adarabella has some living to do to find out.

Genres:

Writing, Fantasy, Romance

Comments(20)

Imag2098_2_1 - edit profile me

about 3 years ago Ruby Rae Daniels said:

Hello again!!

I read Lies part two and three I think. The next update.

Ok. Soooo, I loved that we get to see more into Ryker's life and that he is a chef! (I mean Yum!).

One little section kind of threw me off a bit... With the music, I love music and I love the song choices (I was definitely singing along to "Ain't It Fun" btdubs). But I think the songs seemed to fly by way too fast which for me made it seem a tad unrealistic then...Maybe take out a few song selections at the start of when Adara takes her iPhone out. And then put more action in between. Even in the eating scenes to follow the cooking/mini-dance fest, you could add that they ate to the sounds of (insert artist or genre? here).... Or something of that sort. :)

Hoped that helped!!

Happy writing :D -Rae

Imag2098_2_1 - edit profile me

about 3 years ago Ruby Rae Daniels said:

Aw cute! Just read Lies pt.1 :D I love how you tied back that blonde. Lol.

-Rae :)

Imag2098_2_1 - edit profile me

about 3 years ago Ruby Rae Daniels said:

Ah!! Just read beck and call prt 2. Ohmygosh I love how you developed Andon's character here and everything! :D And Adarabella's character when she reacted. Let me know when you update! Ahhh, excited :) haha

Happy writing! -Rae

V7-6glbz

over 3 years ago Ash Tokyo said:

Wow! Your descriptions blew me away! I pictured everything you wrote with utter clarity, you made sure to take into account everything when writing, and it reflects in your style. Keep writing stuff like this! Well done and happy writing! :)

Reviews(7)

4b661ce0-da32-42c0-8add-2938e6807361

about 3 years ago gray wind said:

-REVIEW FOR NICE AND DANDY QUE-

CHAPTER 1

So this is enthralling, you paint a good picture from the beginning with the spittle flying off her lips and the three words changing things for your life. I liked how you approached that in particular, the whole paragraph about words and their meanings being essentially nothing without context. I feel like parts of that paragraph were a little iffy though, for example: The part where you say 'slap an adjective in there' doesn't really make sense grammatically, as sentences can exist without descriptors. (think: subject, verb, object; as you are discussing here the way language works, it is a bit distracting if you have grammatical inconsistencies) Regardless of the sort of flawed information, I really liked where you were going with this idea and felt like it was a really good kickstart to the story.

I like the inner monologue that gives the character a clear body and personality (the whole obvious bitch part, the consistent distraction of thought by surrounding influences i.e. the spit)

You have a strong, good and catching beginning here. And again, the way you write is clear, easy to read and above all relatable. Im interested to see where this is going. Its a bold move to have your character quit her job in the first chapter and keeps the reader ready to move on, to fully understand the scene you had unfold in front of our eyes.

CHAPTER 1 continues…

Okay, so I know Ive said this to you before but HOT DAMN your characters are so dynamic and appealing and the way you explain people is just perfect. I feel like I'm looking at people without seeing them. Well done.

Its interesting how this girl works. She immediately quits her job, thinks everyone at her work is snobby, then meets someone on the elevator and almost falls in love. Doing things like unbuttoning her shirt (not for the guy ofcourse, but because the button was digging into her skin) its the little things that you put here and there that makes me think things like: thats totally something I would do, or thats what I would say to myself to make it okay that Im unbuttoning my shirt. Idk if that makes sense, Im just trying to basically say that your characters are extremely real.

CHAPTER 1 continues...

(Are we still on the elevator? this is the longest elevator ride ever)

Ah the description for the color of his eyes is beautiful! You have a lot of really great dialogue here and Its an interesting read, way to pick up the pace without me even noticing!

This guy sounds very attractive, I cant believe you didn't even really describe his face before now because I think maybe you introduced his personality first and very subtly. I like this.

There is a part like a little bit farther down, where you talk about his eyes ALOT more, and I feel like its a little bit overload with Romeo's eyes. I know he has pretty eyes at this point, lets focus more on some other stuff that needs descriptions, or perhaps even a bit more of what she looks like. You could always even keep the eyes stuff, and maybe have her compare her own to his so we get some more good descriptors of her as well.

CHAPTER 2

(Man I hate getting stuck in elevators so I totally agree with Adara at this point)

Okay so immediately I notice that now she realizes they aren't just stuck in an elevator, and after a very well done introduction, the story and plot finally gets to pick up. I really enjoy foreshadowing here with the elevator shaft, and her freaking out. You built the suspense here very well.

I did not see the ending of this coming?! HOW WHY?! WHY SHE DO THAT?! WHAT IS GOING ON?! DONT KILL THE HOT GUY. This chapter was the best one yet. I liked how you incorporated her emotions, as well as her determination to kill him, and the sort of more foreshadowing that tells us this is her job-or a job or sorts. She seems familiar with murder. Interesting.

CHAPTER 2 continued…

Wow this chapter was good, it starts out very very nicely, I'm so happy that he isn't dead.

but here it gets a little confusing. I am unsure as to whether or not she is talking about 'love' towards her brother in the sisterly sense of the term or the romantic sense of the term. Because of the whole 'always wanted to be together, completing each other business' and the whole flashback scene and her interactions with him are oddly sexual. Are they blood related? They share looks. Are they meant to be husband and wife? or just brother and sister.

hmmm

I think my question was answered. definitely.

CHAPTER 4

I am hoping we get a little bit of answers in this chapter, because at this point I feel more confused.

Okay, nicely done. Im guessing her father is the devil or something and she is the antichrist split in two? Interesting, and actually the way you describe it clears a lot of the confusion and sets the story kicking off very nicely. I like where this is going so far and will have to come back to read and review more. Well done love!

Me

over 3 years ago Lily K. said:

This new chapter is real short and rickety, like getting back on a bike sort of rickety. I think you should go back over it and reread because there are a few typos and sentences the could be reworded. Like "you would never even know" should be "you would have never even known". Everything else is great. The dialogue is a little lax for an Angel of the Lord, though. Good luck!

Lily K.