Dreams that Mask the Shadows

Dreams that Mask the Shadows

11 chapters / 16545 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read

Description:

Being the son of a fallen angel automatically makes you: a fallen angel. Joseph Parker is part of a secret organization dedicated to protecting humans from demons. He's been in the "family business" since he was a child and is used to following orders. Until he meets Kylie Zanders.
As far as Kylie is concerned, she's living a rather normal life. Going to school, hanging out with her best friend, and writing in a journal about all the magical abilities she’s suddenly experiencing. The moment she has a run in with a couple demons, she's suddenly thrown into a hidden world that she must learn to understand. Before long, chaos erupts in her life and she finds out her father is missing, her mother isn't really dead, and there are people out there that want to kill her.
As Joseph digs deeper into the depths of his father's organization, the truth is revealed about angels and demons and Kylie must choose which side she's really on.

Genres:

Fantasy, Novel, Urban

Comments(41)

Seeking light

10 months ago Headintheclouds said:

One:

I like the quick pacing and you do a good job of packing in the important details: His and Sky’s past relationship, their mission, etc. You also get to the action right away. We get to face a demon! Also, great job with the male POV. Crits: Might want to consider a tag for the first line of dialogue to ground the reader. That gave me brief confusion that took me out of the story a little.

Two:

The best part of this chapt is her worry about who she is ‘whether she’s human’. Really caught my attention. Also her worry over her dad. This chapt’s not as tight as the previous. Had some meandering loose ends, but still enjoyable to read. When I get the time, I'll def be back for more :)

169198a08f260397c006cbace2167c9e

11 months ago AJSkye said:

Awesome story! Write MOOORRRRE!!!!

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almost 2 years ago Selena Brooks said:

I'd already read chapter one, so I read chapters two and three for ya :)

First of all, the guy with the silver eyes is creeping me out a lot! Secondly, I love Waylan's family dynamic. It's so perfect and it gives me as a reader such great insight into his life.

I didn't catch a single grammar error or typo, and I'm loving this so much! I know I keep saying this, but I absolutely have to catch up on this.

Great work!

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almost 2 years ago Matissa B. Phoenix said:

Hello Unicorn, this is where two Raes finally meet..... :D And I mean Rae spelled with an "e" at the end instead of a "y." I don't think I've actually ever met anyone else that spells it the same way lol. I haven't read anything past your PS request btw. When I do I'll leave another story related comment. Ta ta for now.

Reviews(22)

Profile pic 01

almost 2 years ago Maria Rae said:

Oh my Godzilla, this totally blind-sided me! Y'know how you find those rare gems of amazingness sometimes? This was one of those times. I was so engrossed that I read the first three chapters without taking notes, and then had to go back and read them again ^_^' Heh.

I'm going to start off with the pacing because that seems like the most urgent to me. The first two chapters are so brilliant: all of these new and strange things were happening, and I was so intrigued... but then it all slowed down. :( I mean, I know it kinda has to so we, the readers, can get our bearings, but I found myself wondering "Why am I reading about a kid eating ice-cream now?" I hope this doesn't come across as too harsh - I know text does that sometimes - but I just wanted to get back to the cool stuff again. Remember that this is just an opinion and you're free to dismiss it!! I also read into the fourth chapter, and thought there was quite a bit that could be cut without losing anything vital. When I'm writing, I tend to think to myself "How does this impact the end of the story?" If it doesn't, I usually get rid of it...

Nextly, I love the idea of having a playlist to go along with the different chapters! I've never seen that; it's such a clever idea. I can't really read when here are lyrics in the music, though. I don't know why :P Lindsay Stirling was the best for me.

The characters also stood out, like they were real people and each had their own quirks and backgrounds. (I was just reading something with kinda flat characters before this and yours were so refreshing!!)

Okay - I'm doing this all out of my usual order, by the way - now your writing skill and style. Your skill is pretty high (again, refreshing). I think the only thing I noticed was a few places where you slipped into the wrong tense. Can't find where. Notes might've been helpful, huh? Sorry about that. On style, you've got a modern and easy-to-read voice but you tend towards a bit too much detail sometimes. This ties in with the pacing issue, I think. Always be on the lookout for quicker, cleaner ways of writing things, in my experience.

In closing: I'm really interested to see where this goes! You've got a superb book happening here, it just needs a little tweaking. I'd love to read more sometime - I hope you don't mind my reviewing style. I do tend to focus on what can be improved more than I focus on other things. I wish all the luck for the future and, if you have questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

Also: super-robotic-death-unicorn-with-laser-beam-eyes. Because I'm weird too. Actually, that's the mascot for my group. Her name is Chancey.

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almost 2 years ago Julianne said:

REVIEW FOR WINNING WEEKLY PROMPTS:

I read Chapter One & Two for your prize! This is really interesting so far. I like Waylan's character. I'm not sure exactly what was going on there, but it was really intriguing nonetheless.

I want more imagery though. It was good in some parts, but I want to know what Waylan and his dad look like - what the carnival looks like - the place where Waylan was spying on his dad looks like. I feel like this can add a lot of fluff and still be interesting and relevant to your story.

I think that you left a nice cliffhanger on chapter two. It definitely made me want to read more, so I think I will.

Nice job here :)

Julianne