Every Earthly Feeling

Every Earthly Feeling

8 chapters / 2242 words

Approximately 11 minutes to read

Description:

A small collection of poems- I've kinda been on a poetry kick lately.

Genres:

Writing, Poetry

Comments(16)

Me2

almost 4 years ago Brandon Wix said:

Great structure in this. Again, another very powerful work. This truly gets your message to your reader. It left me speechless for a minute or so:) Great job! -Thanks, Topretend

Lanterns

almost 4 years ago Josephine said:

for someone who isn't used to writing poems. This is really very good. I thought this was original and inspiring, and thought-provoking I couldn't really find any fault with this because I was lost in your words and message. So, good job!

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almost 4 years ago Clair Deighan said:

Really amazing, I gotta say!! I'm no poet but your words flowed beautifully!! Awesome work so kudos to you :)

Photo on 12-8-13 at 9.27 am

almost 4 years ago Alyssa Goddard said:

I really liked the wording of this! It was very simple, yet it spoke wonders! Amazing! :)

Reviews(5)

Me 1963

almost 4 years ago Linda D said:

I like the flow and sentiment of the poem. A plea of sorts.

From what I see of the stanza pattern, the last two lines of each stanza are opposite, yet complementary. All except “Whose eyes…” – Deep and understanding is the same as deep and empathic. “Deep” stands out as confusing – deep as in deep-set or deep as in solemn – just perhaps so you have the opposite, yet complementary an example would be - whose eyes search and critiquel, and whose eyes observe with empathy. – you could choose what think would best describe – maybe mischievous and laughing compared with pensive and sympathetic. Just my tuppence worth of suggestions.

Moi

almost 4 years ago Morgan said:

I really like how you made this feel personal (or it did to me, at least) and associated vivid images with the point you were trying to express. People often, especially in poems, fill it with abstractions and no actual images. Lines including things such as "ice cream with sprinkles" and "sunshine on my pale skin" give the poem a unique flair.

The only thing I would have to say is try to cut out some "being" verbs (is, am, be, become, was, etc). They often rob a writer the opportunity to create more images. For example, your line "I, whose eyes are deep and understanding" could simply be changed to something like "I, whose eyes deepen with understanding" to create a better image and put it in the active voice instead of passive voice. It may seem silly or subtle at times, but I promise it makes a difference, especially in poetry.

Fantastic job and I hope you continue with poetry!