The Cry of the Crows

The Cry of the Crows

31 chapters / 87325 words

Approximately about 7 hours to read

Description:

Violet Kaloure is an extraordinary girl with an extraordinary destiny. Firstborn Princess of the royal family of Destral, she is the first female of royal lineage to have been born in the last thousand years, and has a lot of legacy to live up to. When a startling prophecy reveals the perfect right of passage ceremony for her to undertake, she sets out to prove herself worthy of the throne. But, many perilous twists and turns lie along the way, as her seemingly simple task is not all what it seems, and in attempting to save her kingdom, she may just as easily condemn it. Traversing an age old feud, unearthing an ancient secret, and finding herself at odds with mystical forces, Violet is put to the ultimate test, with the stakes higher than she can possibly imagine.

Genres:

Fantasy, Novel, Adventure

Comments(1)

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about 2 years ago Marissa LaPorte said:

The tone of your writing is very different. It's refreshing because it isn't the norm. I liked how it was like we were being told the story it worked well for the content of this piece. At first when you told your reader that the story begins and ends with murder I was like NO! spoiler alert! I would rather be surprised by the murder instead of having my mind "pre blown" if you will. I'm not sure it works for me. It makes me want to read on BUT I already know someone is gonna die so I just am trying to single out who will die. The whole beginning feels very intro-Hamlet-esqu if you get me.

Reviews(6)

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13 days ago Lana Willows said:

From your first line, you had me hooked. Your writing has a way of capturing a reader into the story, and I felt a strong connection with the plot and characters as I was reading. I'm currently only on the fifteenth chapter but I was really excited to write a review since I am liking it so much so here I go. I like the different personalities of the characters and the dialogue flowed well through the writing. I really enjoy your writing style as it adds to the mood and theme of the story. Be careful not to over elaborate on minor details, and remember that not everything needs and adjective. We are all guilty of this since we want the readers to see exactly what we are visualizing but sometimes it's better to leave some things up to their imagination since it can become overcluttered and difficult to read smoothly. Overall, this is a really good book and I can't wait to continue reading it. Well done!

Winter

over 1 year ago Rookblonkorules said:

I like how you began the story. Most intros that go like, "This story begins with..." are lame but you carried it off quite nicely.

Is a group of crows really called a murder or is that something you made up for this story?

"The sun was bright and the clouds were gently floating in the sky, resting lazily above the vibrant town." This paints a very lovely image and has such a subtle contrast. I love it.

I like the cliffhanger you ended the prologue with... it made me eagerly anticipate the next.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Uncomfortable anticipation..." I would suggest using different adjectives to describe what she's feeling.

"comical looking king." I like how you describe him.

The prophecy about the crows and the coming of age was chilling. Although sometimes making prophecies rhyme like yours did sometimes makes them a bit cheesy, I don't think it was silly... quite clever actually.

"I would be lying if I said I didn't. However, I'm a far cry away from understanding it." I think Violet should be more humiliated that she got caught eavesdropping and ashamed because she had been.

I like the name Veilgloom. It does sound very elfin.

"Only if you say 'please'" Giggled Violet. This should be written as "Only if you say 'please,'" giggled Violet. That was the only grammatical error I could spot.

I think this is a great story. You don't have TOO many things you need to correct, but you should try to show not tell the audience all these facts about your character.

Princess Violet seemed like she was a little too perfect and I would like to see more into what she was thinking.

I was REALLY interested and I'll probably come back to read more if I ever have the time.