The League of Second Sons

The League of Second Sons

55 chapters / 100444 words

Approximately about 8 hours to read


Undead monsters unleashed by an ancient curse. City-strongholds where opulence thrives and the poor starve in a haze of smoke and steam. Railway lines that link these havens, charmed to repel the creatures that seek to attack the cities.

A cowardly guard, a wise Inquisitor, a mad genius, a Half-Breed without a home, and a girl with a deadly secret.

These five unlikely allies are contracted by the Administration to transport a most devious prisoner to his new cell.

The only problem? His old friends want to kill him... along with everyone else.

And if they don't deliver him alive, there will be no place for them - in this life or the next...

*****Contains fighting, but no sickening gore. First draft. Glossary of terms at the end of the novel.*****



about 3 years ago Garima Gupta said:

The whole fantasy, magic thing isn't normally my cup of tea, but wow. I'm afraid I won't be able to do your review justice, because I don't really have any suggestions. It's amazing how you were immediately able to engulf the reader into this world of yours. It was action packed and definitely caught my attention. I think had the perfect amount of descriptions, not too much to make the story drag but not too little to leave the reader wondering. Your writing style is so sophisticated. I obviously didn't know what some the things you mentioned were, but I presume that those are later explained in the novel. I don't have a lot of time now, but when I do, I'll definitely come back to this. Definitely try getting this published!


about 3 years ago Stephanie Marasco said:

wow this is so good, the sentence flow was amazing and the vocabulary did not interrupt up it at all! Loved the details and the plot line seems very interesting and I can't wait to read more. Awesome job!


over 3 years ago Helen Baird said:

Teagan, your writing is very visual and descriptive - I have only read the first few chapters, but am really impressed. It is fast paced and leaves us guessing when it needs to. Build the reader up and then keep them with you. I will definitely read more. Stay focussed young one. Non xx

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over 3 years ago Tonya Royston said:

I read the first few chapters. All I can say is wow. Your writing is sophisticated and professional. And you have 55 chapters - over 100,000 words! That is impressive. You should try to get this published! But back to the story - I liked your imagery. I particularly noticed your use of sounds at the beginning of chapter 2. I felt like I was there! I think some writers put too much weight on visuals and forget to add sound and other senses in their descriptions. Very well done!



about 3 years ago Saleena Nival said:

You switch from third person limited to third person omniscient midway through the chapter. Keep it consistent. If you are doing omniscient, explain Deja's emotions and reactions as well as Benedict's. If you are doing limited, then only explain Benedict's. If you want to do both, I would suggest having a page break and then switching to Deja's perspective while they converge on Benedict. It is a bit unorganized, I feel, when you randomly switch to omniscient.

Oh, I love the line "an empty promise, and the taste of ashes in his mouth." Very visual; very nice. I like it.

You end the chapter very well. You have just the right amount of cliff hanger and mystery that makes the reader want to continue reading. You are also very good at show don't tell, and your imagery is very good, allowing me to fully imagine the scenes that are happening.

Okay, I love your vocabulary when it comes to naming the color of objects. Instead of simply saying red, you say crimson. Instead of simply saying yellow or orange, you say copper. It adds a nice quality to your writing, as well as makes for a more interesting reading experience, even with these simple descriptions.

Is Stephen a magic-user? You say the runes give most people headaches. Is this referring to normal people or all people, even magic users?

This chapter is very well written as well. I only wished there was more to it. That is both a good and bad thing: good because you make me want to read more, and bad because I feel there should be more to this chapter, but perhaps I should read further in order to grasp why you stopped at this point.

Anyway, overall, I deeply commend your creativity. I have always wanted to have the skill of creating a complex world such as yours, but for some reason, I lack it--or perhaps I lack inspiration...I'm not sure. It is very evident that you have all your sh*t together when it comes to all aspects of the world you created, and that really shines through your writing.

Overall very good job on this, and I will come back for more! Keep writing.


about 3 years ago Scorpio Ryder said:

Wow. First, I must say, you have created an incredible world, and I think what I love is that it feels like you write this with so much knowledge of your own world it makes me feel as if this could be a real world somewhere. That being said, I almost feel like on some parts you forget to describe the scenery because it seems your character knows so much already that he feels the reader does too, if that makes any sense. I get so involved in the actions of what is going on, and you describe your character excellently (and you have super cool names too) but I struggle in trying to picture the setting. You have really captured me in this fantastic world that I want to have a great image of it, and your use of vocabulary and imagery is stunning. Maybe if you could throw in a setting description it would help.

I love the interactions and the idea. It’s just so impressive. I mean, you really make me want to read this whole thing. I’m just so intrigued at the creativity, and how well you have organized your story. It feels very revised to me. I loved this.