Muse Academy

Muse Academy

11 chapters / 7409 words

Approximately 37 minutes to read

Description:

13 year old Hannah, who is going to turn 14 soon, is a student at Muse Academy. She isn't a normal girl, she's a muse, a magic girl who has the power to inspire others and disappear when they reach their inspiration. How will her current year go? Will she ace the test of inspiring a real guy her first time in the real world?

Genres:

Comedy, Fantasy, Romance
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Comments(122)

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almost 3 years ago Shiba said:

that was really good, i blushed at one of the parts it was funny. i can't wait to read more.

11377218_818265911603552_418669797284507027_n kat-circa

almost 3 years ago Katherine Brown said:

Just finished 9 and 10. Interesting. I'm curious to see how she's gonna explain this as time goes on.

11377218_818265911603552_418669797284507027_n kat-circa

almost 3 years ago Katherine Brown said:

A beautifully crafted, thought provoking, contemplative piece! I loved it! Hope you plan to expand on it.

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almost 3 years ago Bella Lightwood said:

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! AMAZING DUDDDDDEEEEEE! I LOVE IT!

Reviews(53)

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about 3 years ago Anastasia Vandevere said:

Alec —

You really hooked me with that description. I don't know if there has ever been a story about a Muse, or from a Muse's perspective, for that matter. Kudos for having a spot-on attention-getter!

I love the phrase "dream dust."

I do think you could do better than "When I woke up, I just started to attend classes." Expand on this! What is Muse Academy like? What are the classes? Is Muse Academy a huge brown-stoned behemoth in the sky?

I really love how you open Adam's chapter. It's beautifully done.

I must ask, though. How is a pink-dotted blouse unusual? Does Adam just not like pink dots, or are they arranged in an unusual pattern?

I also think you could rephrase Mrs. Governale's sentence about showing interest. It's awkwardly worded.

It's also a little confusing that the person that is narrating the chapter is not Adam.

I would also change the paragraph about Hannah not being as good as the other muses. Why, just because of her height, is she not as good?

You also should put thoughts in italics.

The whole Magic the Gathering sequence was kind of awkward. Why would Adam be so blunt with Hannah about her beauty, and then refuse to show interest later?

Maybe introduce the ages a little better. Say something about the age gap, but you don't really have to be specific.

What does Hannah mean by earning Adam?

My suggestions are below in [ ].

"…the boy [whose] mind dreamed me up."

"'You are going to have to pay more attention now[.]' Governale put the cards down on the desk[.]"

"'Today we are going to [have a little practice in] talking [to] people. My son volunteered to be the test subject[.]'"

"Adam looked exactly like his mom, even though he was a boy. [He was] thin[,] with black-rimmed glasses[,] [and wore a] t-shirt [featuring a comic book character.] [H]e walked to the front of the room."

"'Hannah[,]' [Governale] motioned to me."

"Some people really resent muses. [Those] of them who know we exist."

"…so I gave an awkward[,"Have to go to class."]"

I only read to the end of chapter two. I think this would be a very good story with some editing applied. I like how this was going, and you've presented the whole Adam's age/girlfriend conflict at a good time in the story.

If you keep working on this, I know it will do well!

— Anastasia

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about 3 years ago Emma J said:

You have such a powerful plotline and it's totally ruined by these tiny "hiccups" as Hannah so eloquently put it. If you were to sit down with someone with a knack for this kind of thing, I'm sure that your story would be liked so much more! People would read farther into it, love it more and more, get more addicted, and you'll get more notice and reviews! I could only get to the 2nd chapter before I had to give up. Please get someone to help you with the wrinkles. You won't regret it!