The Gift of the Dreamseer

The Gift of the Dreamseer

64 chapters / 110043 words

Approximately about 9 hours to read

Description:

Link to map: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9gokEmqu_Hyek9QdVRZVzc0NGs/view?usp=sharing

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Link to illustrations:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B9gokEmqu_HyNURZbDFrUjNYdms?usp=sharing

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This is still a rough draft! Feel free to point out any plot holes, spelling errors, etc.

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CONTENT WARNING: Contains graphic depictions of violence. Recommended for mature readers over 13.

The Gift of the Dreamseer is a fantasy novel that follows the story of multiple characters during the late years of the lengthy war between countries Abicia and Dehrwany. Mya Carrahym is an Abician Dreamseer, a person who see the future in their dreams. She begins training as a mage’s apprentice even though her dreams tell her it is not her destiny and despite her attempts to avoid the war, she eventually gets drafted in as a battle mage after Dehrwany breaks the no-magic treaty. Meanwhile, in the country of Marazzin, Ketrech, an intelligent and talented mage, hires the infamous killer Fera Danizzar as his assassin in attempt to break into the palace of the Empress to find her forbidden spellbook - the only thing that could possibly resurrect his dead sister. Sandryn F’nett, a writer and adventurer, travels to the country of Cassamyr to find the woman he loves - the powerful but insane queen and dragon rider, Tristine Dennin, while his brother Tayvin commands Abicia’s army and his sister Elyse plots to take over the kingdom.

Genres:

Action, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(42)

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4 days ago oilly said:

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5 days ago Naki Lashiva said:

Hey! I like your edit at the end to solidify that Aldere died...that was amazing ;)

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6 days ago ThePenMaster said:

Chapter ten - “Strange,” he said, “I have never even met her.” – I would consider merging this into one sentence to make it flow better. Perhaps he could say this with a raised eyebrow to show his curiosity. “He ripped the letter open,,” – you have two commas here. "I am not sure why you want to come." I feel like this entire letter could be written in a different way. When Eirel tells the history of the war, I would suggest flashbacks or something. Maybe have one of the characters able to show what happen here and there. Not enough to overwhelm the reader, but enough to get hints. You have magic in your land, right? I would think characters can use magic to tell history and show people images of it. The last sentence feels a bit awkward. I would suggest rewording it.

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7 days ago Naki Lashiva said:

Wait, did the god mage get killed at the end? That was pretty good--I got pretty giddy while reading, haha. The part where he screams, "I was out of control" was particularly good. I would say though, when the dragon lady love says to him in the flashback, "I thought you loved me," I think you'll get more impact if she just says, "You love me!" That's true betrayal if even to the end she believes he loves her and has no doubt, in which case, it can even be true. He WAS out of control.

Reviews(112)

Red1

2 days ago Red- The Elitist said:

I noted that change on the Prologue(from Naki's post)...and permit me to give you a suggestion on that edit you made...

"...before he felt a sharp pain in his chest, which felt like a pin prick amidst the guilt and the deaths of millions which he had shouldered throughout his entire life"...too cheesy?

Moving on...

Chapter 19:

Oh, Sandryn is finally starting to question the reliability of these two new strangers when he should have done that during their first meeting, BEFORE he agreed to travel with them...

Ketrech seems to be making a lot of assumptions as to what he will do in the future...this may come back to bite him later on...And didn't Ketrech say that he planned to keep the spell book last time so that the queen couldn't touch him? What's this talk of him hiding it so that he wouldn't use it anymore?

"She will presume us dead...and we will plan much more!"...okay, he also seems kinda cocky considering he plans to go against an entire kingdom.

Of all characters in the book so far...Ketrech and Fera seem to have the most interesting relationship with each other...

"What exactly happened to your sister?"...dude, he just told you yesterday.

Wot? So Ketrech was a kinda scholar...that attitude led to him not giving enough attention to his sister...and AS A RESULT OF THAT ATTITUDE, she died...and that was summed it up as in "I blamed myself at first...but I studied harder to bring her back to life"...umm...seems too little in terms of back story.

Don't get me wrong. I understand Ketrech's motivations here...his is the most understandable out there, much more personal than either Mya's or even Tayvin's...but he sounds kinda robotic here. You don't describe his facial expressions to show that he is going through a mixture of depression and self-loathing to show the reader a taste of how he feels about this entire incident...he doesn't seem to speak of his own emotions, but talks about it like his traumatic past was a story he read once.

I read through the rest of the chapter...Fera is best character 10/10 XD.

Red1

2 days ago Red- The Elitist said:

Okay, I should have mentioned this in my ch 17 review...but I recall you said to me once that the reasons why a physical army still exists was because some people just want a legal reason to kill...I am getting that vibe from both Avaminn and Camryn now.

Chapter 18:

Eh? Do we not get to see what actually happens to the people of Faradelle?

Hmm...does Lissandra not have a life of her own? She seems unnaturally interested in teaching Mya magic rather than inquiring more about her dreams and the upcoming disaster, whatever that may be.

Maybe you can tell the reader what Mya learnt about water magic so that the reader will know more about the magic system than just mentioning that she did learn a bit about water magic?

' "I wasn't worried about Ilyar.", Lissandra said, speaking as if to herself. '

'Lissandra looked at Mya suddenly, as if realizing that she was there for the first time, "It's probably as you said, just a grass fire"'

Idk, do the extra parts I added make the scene feel a bit more realistic?

Whoa! So Lissandra suspected that the dragons were there based on the black ash like water

What! Did you just skip describing a scene of a ruined and destroyed city? Come on, I would have to loved to see more of Mya reacting to this sort of environment, to see the results of a battle fought between dragons and humans and to have her world view change slightly...than have it described it as "I wish I could have saved them".

I feel like an opportunity to flesh out Mya and Lissandra was missed here.

Good chapter nonetheless(though I was disappointed towards the end...)