Guilty Man, Innocent Soul

Guilty Man, Innocent Soul

1 chapter / 460 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read

Description:

The eyes are doors to the soul. In the face of death, do the guilty reset to be innocent?

Comments(11)

Whitetiger

about 3 years ago A.J. Cypher said:

I really like how you use time in this piece. Only a moment passes, but you slow it down and expand it out into a really interesting reflective piece. Well done!

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about 3 years ago Marissa LaPorte said:

I truly enjoyed reading this. It was a creative take on the prompt you mentioned at the beginning.

I found myself a little confused at times between the transitions of talking about the other man and your narrator. You may want to make that a little more clear for your reader.

Your descriptions of the bullet bouncing off his skull and the blood spilling on to the pavement were all lovely. My favorite aspect of this story is that we get to know the back story of the dead man and it makes us feel something for him.

Great work and keep writing!

Marsface avatar

about 3 years ago Mars said:

I really liked this story. The snapshot the narrator got into this man's life was quite fascinating, and I liked the moral dilemma he had. I love the flow of the words, and the writing is lovely. I'm not sure how you crammed all that in under five-hundred words.

Note--the colon used is incorrect, but I'm not sure what to replace it with.

Hope this helps! Marvelous piece.

--Mars

Hayden casey

about 3 years ago hayden casey said:

WOW. whoa. huh.

haunting. beautiful. so flowy! please never stop writing!

Reviews(1)

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about 3 years ago Joni Marie Girod said:

This is an awesome piece. Yes, awesome: it inspires 'awe'. In such a small space you managed to speak volumes about your mc through the telling of the life of a completely separate character. Your descriptions are excellent and this story is peppered with fantastic revelations about life and death and the reality of strangers in dire situations. Also, great title: it fits this story perfectly.