ode to computer guy

ode to computer guy

1 chapter / 99 words

Approximately half a minute to read

Description:

the new IT guy at my work inspired me to write this stupid poem.
{cover credit to the beautiful Faith http://figment.com/users/221239-Rose-Johnson}

Genres:

Comedy, Poetry, Romance

Comments(15)

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5 months ago reine said:

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over 3 years ago The Silver Swan said:

THIS IS HILARIOUS.

THANK YOU FOREVER FOR WRITING IT.

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over 3 years ago Karina said:

This was a refreshing and humorous piece to read! I loved it :) Great job!

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over 3 years ago Cleveland W. Gibson said:

Hi Gray I read your Ode to a compute guy and thought you had the making of a good poem. Your poem is funny with a slant too. Images rocket through my head of a keyboard covered in pink lipstick in order to 'kiss' the computer guy. You ought to include a verse about 'seduction' and make it funny. Being funny is a little more effort needed than to tell it exactly as it is. Now to the start:. Your poem opens with two lines : “Your fingers...” and ends with “my type.” The idea behind those lines is the 'hook' for the poem and I felt it should reflect every sensual aspect about the keyboard/computer. It is the suggestion rather than the actual that can be entertaining and also a refresher course for those readers who have forgotten a lot of data stuff and the like. Bites or bytes take on a new meaning as I can see the computer guy covered in lipstick from the keyboard and also with 'love bytes' down his arms and neck. So I beg your permission to bring forth your first two lines in the shape of a 4lined verse. All I've done is look at what you've written and pat it into place. See what you've written but in a new light and I hope you enjoy it. The rest of your poem could follow straight after or you might consider tweaking the words a little. IMO As your fingers caress me-my keyboard, music, a dance in such a public place , how the Argentine Tango sends a real shiver, because my love now I see your face.

I hope you have fun with this poem and that you publish it. Thank you for the enjoyable read. Best wishes Cleveland

Reviews(2)

Ringlets

over 3 years ago Sarah Ashlee said:

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! You, my dear Gray, are a genius, but not only a genius, but a poetic genius.

My only complaint is that you used 'to' instead of 'too' in one line. Other than that, pure gold Gray.

Schottel299_0

over 3 years ago L.S. Luther said:

Ha! This is awesome! Very, very, well done! Bravo! The only thing I really saw was that you had an "i" that wasn't capitol, but with the rest I couldn't tell if it was purposeful or not :P Just remember to proofread it and I think you'll be fine!