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Mamihlapinatapai is a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start. Cover by Rhina Matsuda.
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almost 6 years ago Zynathias Bornhold said:
You have an amazing short story here. The characters are vivid, the writing is fun and quick, and the pacing is perfect. You feel exactly what the speaker feels, and you see the world as he sees it. His opinions are believable and human, and the writing itself creates a very well-described world in so few words. It's an overall wonderful piece of writing that made me snicker and laugh several times. Good job!
almost 6 years ago Flying Kiwi said:
I liked this story, it's well-written and fun, only it's rather obvious right from the start what's going to happen. That's not a problem of course, since the story is still good, and I'm not sure if you were aiming at an unexpected ending, but I found that a bit disappointing. It may have been the way you presented the story, though; as it is from the pov of someone who's in on the big news, for the reader the only suspense comes from not knowing how the father will react. Only, we never find out and there's not quite enough of a build up to feel the anxiety the narrator must feel.