The Death Row

The Death Row

1 chapter / 149 words

Approximately less than a minute to read

Description:

The short painful life of a animal destined for death in a mainstream farming system.

1 of the winners of the 2014 animal rights contest

Genres:

Writing, Horror

Comments(28)

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over 2 years ago Madeline Newman said:

I love this!!! I really do! I hate animal cruelty, it's a horrible thing.... This happens a lot, everyday, at large farms around the globe. The animals are born, taken from their mothers, given medications that make them "grow" unnaturally so that they are ready to be butchered by the time they are about a year old. What is truly sad is that they never are shown any sign of love.... Or even cared for properly. No, I'm not Vegan, but I do love animals. I live on a farm, we raise beef cattle and meat chickens, and if you haven't seen them, then you may as well say that we are cruel. But I promise you, a small farm like ours is in no way compared to the ones that raise the animals that end up at your local Walmart. Thank you for writing this, I think it really shows people what happens at large "farms" across the world!!! :)

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almost 3 years ago Stephanie S said:

This is for our swap. This was very, very powerful. I'm not a vegetarian but it's pieces like these that kind of...push me toward wanting to be one. I think cruelty against animals is terrible, and your poem illustrates it perfectly. It was very chilling, as well. You had a few grammar errors, but as a whole I don't think it distracted from the piece. Great job!

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almost 3 years ago KIWI said:

Very powerful story, I myself have thought the same - that its better off this way. The choppy narrative (pun not intended) matches the subject very well. Congratulations on winning. (Man the Food Inc flashbacks D:)

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almost 3 years ago Katarina Skye said:

That was depressing but, like Amber said, eye-opening. I liked the words the people were saying and how you did that. It was short, but it most certainly got the point across. I don't have any suggestions, so great job!

Reviews(7)

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about 3 years ago R A Black said:

I like the use of repetition and the contrast between the people outside and the animal inside. The short sentence structure works well for impact.

I'd recommend changing the figures (5 seconds, day 1, etc) into words (five seconds, day one etc) as figures can distract the eye, so all words make the piece flow better.

the people inside the walls say - are you talking about the protesters, because it should be outside the walls in that case.

I'd recommend getting some of the other senses in, to really up the impact. Particularly smell, but touch and sound would also be good.

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about 3 years ago Annabelle Leb said:

This is a very powerful story, especially for animal-lovers. However, it would be nice to meet the protagonist! Also, some sentences do not end in any form of punctuation. Apart from that, this is a great start!