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Approximately less than a minute to read
The short painful life of a animal destined for death in a mainstream farming system.
1 of the winners of the 2014 animal rights contest
10 months ago Lilith Pellizar said:
almost 2 years ago Emily Hendra said:
I'm glad figment held this contest and I'm glad you won, because it shows that people really care and just need to say something and word gets out. We have chickens, not for meat, to lay eggs. All hand raised. 2 roosters. 4 hens (one birthed originally with us, that's right, Carlos the rooster and Summer the hen are parents :D!). Anyway, NOT THE POINT OF THE STORY! We got battery hens several years ago. You can't eat their eggs for around 8 months or maybe even their first year with you (in a LOVING environment). They're really scared of the natural world at first so they have to start out looking through the carrier for 30 minutes. When you let them out and they go on the grass fro the first time in forever, they're unsure of what it is, they're surprised. When you pick them up for a hug/cuddle, they're afraid. We had three, Rosie, Penny and Trudy. Trudy was the leader (not bossy or violent, just acted in charge, she had the most feathers). Trudy died first, in her second year with us (we think she was a bit old, perhaps middle aged, maybe six or seven even.) We didn't expect it because she was the strongest. Next to go was Rosie, in the first few months the year after Trudy, when we first got her, she had not a lot of feathers on her breasts or bum, and it looked injured. Then Penny, the last to go. Around 3 years after her sisters died. We thought she'd be the first to go. She had almost no feathers. None near her wings, tail, breasts, basically no where, almost none to be seen at all. She ended up having the most soft, luxurious feathers that smelled like cotton candy. They all had happy endings to their lives. That's what counts.
about 2 years ago Madeline Newman said:
I love this!!! I really do! I hate animal cruelty, it's a horrible thing.... This happens a lot, everyday, at large farms around the globe. The animals are born, taken from their mothers, given medications that make them "grow" unnaturally so that they are ready to be butchered by the time they are about a year old. What is truly sad is that they never are shown any sign of love.... Or even cared for properly.
No, I'm not Vegan, but I do love animals.
I live on a farm, we raise beef cattle and meat chickens, and if you haven't seen them, then you may as well say that we are cruel. But I promise you, a small farm like ours is in no way compared to the ones that raise the animals that end up at your local Walmart.
Thank you for writing this, I think it really shows people what happens at large "farms" across the world!!!
over 2 years ago Stephanie S said:
This is for our swap. This was very, very powerful. I'm not a vegetarian but it's pieces like these that kind of...push me toward wanting to be one. I think cruelty against animals is terrible, and your poem illustrates it perfectly. It was very chilling, as well.
You had a few grammar errors, but as a whole I don't think it distracted from the piece.
over 2 years ago R A Black said:
I like the use of repetition and the contrast between the people outside and the animal inside. The short sentence structure works well for impact.
I'd recommend changing the figures (5 seconds, day 1, etc) into words (five seconds, day one etc) as figures can distract the eye, so all words make the piece flow better.
the people inside the walls say - are you talking about the protesters, because it should be outside the walls in that case.
I'd recommend getting some of the other senses in, to really up the impact. Particularly smell, but touch and sound would also be good.
over 2 years ago Annabelle Leb said:
This is a very powerful story, especially for animal-lovers. However, it would be nice to meet the protagonist! Also, some sentences do not end in any form of punctuation. Apart from that, this is a great start!