Want to follow along with this writing? Sign up Today, it's free and easy
Approximately 2 minutes to read
Jeff makes his girlfriend Darcy a homemade dinner, which introduces them to a new friend.
about 1 month ago Margarito Hurwitz said:
Interesting book, now I kooking for something similar=))
3 months ago Hannah said:
I am from Maine so I decided, why not read this? It actually turned out to be pretty good. I suggest continuing it into something longer. More details! It would be cool to find out what happens to "Larry". Ha ha! Keep writing!
4 months ago Joy said:
I am from Maine and New Hampshire...So I just had to read it. I love the play on words and I think this is a cute story. Plus, I think it would be great if your turn it into something longer.
about 1 year ago Valin said:
Great work, keep it up
about 1 month ago FirstDraftWorstDraft said:
Stylistically, this is a perfectly good story. All the grammar boxes are checked, each sentence flows from one to the next, and the dialogue actually sounds like dialogue, although there is some expository dialogue that probably could've been handled better. All in all though, you've got chops.
However, I'd recommend you really work on your formation of story. A good story should create characters we care about ant put them through interesting scenarios. This scenario is fine, but neither of the characters were. If they have been dating/married/in love for awhile, him forgetting about her preferences and boiling a lobster for her just makes him an ass. Her trying to force her own preferences on him (I still want to eat beef, baby steps) just makes her unlikable. I don't want these two to be together, which makes the story pointless. I know these sound like personal preferences, but these are the type of things you have to think about if you want to become a good writer.
about 1 year ago William Kraemer said:
I think that you wrote a great introduction to what looks like what could be a great book. Keep working on it!