1 chapter / 1737 words

Approximately 9 minutes to read


a short story i had my family read which i immediately regretted



about 3 years ago Maryam Naz said:

That was beautifully poignant. The simplicity yet the detail of the context literally made me read every word. And thus is coming from someone who skim reads .

It was just that good.


about 3 years ago Marlo Chewwie said:

What does "watch the sky catch fire" mean?


over 3 years ago Victoria H. said:

Will, why do you even ask people to critique you? What on earth am I supposed to critique about this when I already love every single word about it?

You have a fantastic main character. He's witty, intriguing, and has a great attitude that automatically draws the reader to him. Then the girl-friend came along, and she, honestly, was my favorite! That last line of hers literally made me 'lol'. Your description of her, btw, was extremely lovely. Like, beautiful to the max. Girls dream of guys saying stuff like that to them. Those few lines where the MC described his girlfriend radiated with love, and made the story all the more appealing.

All in all, I loved it ^^ A sweet story that is sure to get you hundreds of hearts and likes, my friend < 3


over 3 years ago Marlo Chewwie said:

Dang, bro. I wish there was more to say. But no. You continue to amaze. Your descriptions were spot on, not too long or short, your setting not over the top, yet with enough meat on it to get the point across. The ending a bit abrupt maybe, but I was just looking for something to add to this lengthy comment. And pickles?! That's just so great. The voice of your characters, and the setup of a short story is no easy feat, yet you can work it. I salute. Thanks for the invitation :D



12 months ago Robert Francis said:

Romance isn't usually my favorite genre, but for this story, I can make an exception.

Quote fg

almost 3 years ago Celine B. said:

This caught my eye right off your page; you don't see many stories titled 'Fork'. So I read it and was captivated. If one's in the cliche, hand-me-down stories, this is probably not their cup of tea. But I loved this entirely; its quirky tone and content, the moral's binding of the story, the fresh use of language, and the comedy! The originality sprung up above many other works. I found myself asking, How much better can it get?

I wish I could've stumbled over something that needs improvement, but nothing came up. This is altogether distinctly impeccable. Had me laughing throughout. Great job. You've got a gift.