Keys to Secrets ☆

Keys to Secrets ☆

10 chapters / 16260 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read

Description:

First draft on hold. 18% complete.
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Thousands of miles underground, locked in a box only one can open, are the keys to all the secrets in the world.

Allison thought she was an ordinary teenager with an ordinary, if not boring, life. But when her mother dies without explanation and strange things begin to happen to her, she wonders about the truths she's always known about the world around her. Everything can be explained, if only she follows the boy with the green eyes.
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FIRST DRAFT STARTED 7/03/14. Cover by me. Featured on the Figment homepage 8/29/14-9/5/14.

Comments(32)

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over 3 years ago Ruby Rae Daniels said:

Hi! Sorry for taking so long for my end of the swap! I read the preface, chapter one, and chapter two. This was interesting and the pirogue made me curious to read more. The set up of the first two chapters was really good. How you introduced the characters, and then how you brought in the main character's power.

Nicely done! And happy writing :) -Rae

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over 3 years ago Aurora Sanders said:

*is caught up* Whoa, Allison really trusts this guy easily...Also, this is giving me a dream-y feel. Intentional?

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over 3 years ago Jette Black said:

I only read the first two chapters but this definitely seems really interesting. Maybe when I have more time I'll read the rest of it. The only thing I have a problem with is her mother. She's way too cold.

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over 3 years ago Seekers XI said:

Only on chapter two, and it already has me hooked! Can't wait to read more!

Reviews(11)

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over 3 years ago Solaris said:

In the first chapter, it might just be a personal opinion but it seems unreal for a mother to suggest skipping breakfast. I would say something like, "Honey don't eat too much since we're having lunch with some friends later."

I noticed a minor spelling error such as "costumers" which should be "customers" (costumers are people who supply COSTUMES). And usually when you say "Honors Chemistry", it's usually called "Chemistry Honors" (at my school at least).

I noticed another error when the main character says, "I want out of this car". I noticed you used a bit of slag in the character's narration (which is totally fine), but when she said, "I want out of this car" seemed too confusing for a slang. Unless it's just a simple error.

I'm surprised the main character hasn't asked the green-eyed boy who he is (or who she is for that matter). It's a little strange to trust someone without even trying to ask who they are (unless it's in her personality). I feel like the main character is more of a person who wouldn't trust people out of the blue.

Judging how far you are in your story, I feel like you're missing the hulk of who they are and why they are pursuing these keys. If you leave too many questions unanswered (or holes) in your story, it might result in some confusion and make the story more difficult to understand.

Overall, your writing is not bad but the storyline is a little lacking. It's very interesting story! Keep writing :)

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over 3 years ago Sonrisa M. said:

This is in exchange for the wonderful cover you made me! First sentence—the shadow was illuminated? I think I know what you mean, but a better wording, I think, would be “contrasted with” Oh, I like the description of the keys. The part where she’s drawing reminds me of Clary from The Mortal Instruments, if you’ve read that series. I really like how you work with the suspense and the tension. It’s a really interesting concept. There were a couple of sentences I was a bit confused about, but mostly it was fantastic. Keep writing!