Inherently Human

Inherently Human

1 chapter / 2146 words

Approximately 11 minutes to read

Description:

They say that luck eventually changes, that after so many rainy days, the sun finally decides to show its face. Ansley Dunn will believe it when she sees it. Her entire life has seemed like bits of bad news and disappointment haphazardly strung together and hung out to dry. From her very conception, a mistake between two passionate teenagers, she's had to endure the struggles of a dysfunctional family and its repercussions in her daily life. At age 17, when life is finally looking brighter, she suddenly contracts Bacterial Meningitis and ends up having both of her legs amputated below the knee in order to save her life. Inherently Human is the story of Ansley's journey to healing—learning to accept that sometimes life just sucks, and that in the midst of making mistakes, falling in love, and pushing yourself harder than you ever thought possible, maybe, just maybe, it’s worth living.

Genres:

Writing, Drama, Romance

Comments(13)

Images (6)

over 1 year ago Aden Tanner said:

Wow! That's really good. I like it a lot. Keep writing. I'm interesting in how it turns out!

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over 1 year ago Noceurx said:

So I'm actually really bad at reviews unless there are loads of grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, and your work had none as far as I could tell so I'll just be leaving a long comment~ Hope that's ok ^^;

In regards to your story itself, I thought it was wonderful! What I really liked about it was that it was diverse, in a sense. Characters with disabilities (whether mental or physical) are not commonly written about so I think it's great that you're writing such a story. Even better, I think it feels realistic which is incredibly important in a story like this.

Another thing I really liked were your characters. They have depth. I feel that in most stories, characters who are meant to be the "popular type" tend to lack that. But Ansley feels, and thinks, and recognizes. Perhaps it's because she is not completely popular anymore, but that was a part of her past, and I see how it affects her. I enjoy getting into her mind. The flashbacks and the thoughts are very well-written, and they were my favorite part to read.

Your words in general fit the story really well. Each seems carefully picked to craft the best fitting tone. I especially love seeing those similes and metaphors.

Some advice I'll leave is to include some more imagery, for your characters and the setting. It could really help readers connect even more, because right now, I'm completely immersed in your story, but only on an emotional level. Images are fuzzy and float in and out as I read. Of course, this is only a suggestion so you needn't feel obliged to listen :) Perhaps prominent emotions are all you need.

Overall, this is an incredibly strong first chapter and beginning. It feels very polished and does a exemplary job establishing the main plot and characters. It's straight to the point and accurate, and I just know you're going to take this story to great places :D Keep up the good work!

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over 1 year ago Aiko A. Hiramine said:

Hi Daisy! First of all, I would love for you to write more about this. You have a talent that I don't often see on figment and I read a lot of stuff. I've never read a story that really drew me into the setting like this, it was incredibly well done. Your writing blew me away. I love your first paragraph, wonderful description and explanation of her world. Statements like, "Dropping off into flat sheets," and "Cavity of beating hearts" and your simile about puzzle pieces really struck me. I love good description and similes and you did incredible. Character wise, I was intrigued by your character and her emotional complex and the questions you raised about her friends. I would love to see the relationships develop. One last thing I loved was your flashbacks, with mostly just dialogue they were perfect in detail and context. Great job! Please write more!!! :)

50s5(2)

almost 3 years ago B. Blakmyre said:

I'm honesty impressed. This has all of the beginnings of a great book! I've not yet heard off a popular fictional novel about an amputee, and your writing is excellent. The first few lines drew me in, but you kept a steady pace until the end. You didn't drown me in some detail intensive action scene that lasted for paragraphs or describe every last part of your characters tragedy right away. I can tell that you are an experienced writer, and I am totally excited to hear more! I truly believe this has publishing potential. :) Please let me know when there is more to read!

Reviews(15)

Clary frost

over 1 year ago Clary Frost said:

Hi! I took notes as I read along:

Chapter One:

-Love the title - it's really unique

-Nice setting the tone at the beginning - there's definitely something wrong with main character

-Wow - very smooth entrance with the lack of legs. How old was she when she lost them?

-Love the description of how "school is their thing." The readers see now that Ansley has separated herself from the crowd

-Don't forget to italicize book names! (It's with the book: "Things Fall Apart")

-This injury was recent... whoa

-Love the metaphor about her friends and the ice cream

Overall: Wow, I seem to have very little feedback to give you because it was very well written. Your character really came to life and the readers can really pick out the tone you are setting by her actions, but you lack physical description of Ansley. What does she look like? How old is she? I can see where you can add this in the next chapter, but don't let your readers wait too long! Your writing style is very smooth and can't wait for chapter two! Happy writing!

Kelsey chow

over 1 year ago Nocturne said:

I’ll review as I read, and remember that you don’t have to heed all of my feedback. :)

Chapter 1

I like that you start with a flashback, but I wish there were some descriptions. Does she feel anything? What sounds does she hear besides the voices?

You say she instantly wakes up at 6 AM, but earlier didn’t you say she was lying awake for a few hours?

I love that you communicate her feelings about her situation really well. I as the reader feel a lot of sympathy for her already

Her thoughts about people finding their place in an institution that they seem to “hate” are actually very interesting. And then she goes into how she doesn’t feel like she belongs with the rest of them. Amazing job at establishing your character's plight

Though it’s sad, I laughed at the blank spaces being “a metaphor for my entire existence”

I like that the flashback provides a look at her old life, when she seemed a lot happier.

Personally I would care more about the grade than getting embarrassed, but I guess it's fine if your character really is that affected by her shame. And that would be really sad, just putting her grades at risk like that. Or I’m just a nerd lol

I can relate to her sentiments about books, as well as looking at an old friend and missing the good times you had with them.

I laughed when you said he’s beautiful, but I do wish you gave some physical descriptions of him. Why is he beautiful? What about him exactly attracts her to him?

Aww, I really like this ending. Really cute, especially after reading such a depressing chapter

OVERALL

Wow! Like I said before, you do such an amazing job at connecting the reader to your MC so well, and it's effective through your figurative language (imagery, similes). You have a very unique and smooth writing style, and the grammar is almost perfect too (which is refreshing for me since I've read many stories on here that look like super rough drafts). You've established your character so well in this chapter alone, and it makes me wanna keep reading to see how she'll get over the past and accept her disability as a part of her. Oh, and definitely shipping her and that guy at the end. ;)

Amazing job and keep writing!