1 chapter / 1000 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read


this short story is the reason i don't do swaps anymore

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Rainbow obbi

almost 3 years ago Titilayo O. said:

This was the funniest thing I have ever read, bruh. Like it's creepy good, but it was funny too. People are so easy to consume. :) What was your inspiration!?


almost 3 years ago Anastasia Lockheart said:

Fantastically written! I know you might not like swaps and this is totally optional of course, but if you could look at my story Dragon's Blood i'd super appreciate it. Thank you and great job again!

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almost 3 years ago Rebekah Fowler said:

This is an awesome piece. I love the nonchalant tone your character describes everything with. If you've read the Bartimaeus series, it's sorta like that, but leagues creepier. I was a little hesitant to read on once clothes were being taken off (I generally don't read anything with sex) but it didn't get graphic, so I continued reading, and I'm really glad I did. My only suggestion would be to tie in the thunderstorm bit to the rest of the story or leave it out altogether. Don't go with the second option, because that "you will have the human mind" bit is downright brilliant. I just think, because you put so much focus on thunderstorms in the beginning, it would make more sense to tie back to it more, especially in the end, to give the reader more closure. But, all in all, this is fantastic. I apologize for not getting to this earlier (I was mostly just bitter about this contest being heart-based), and you definitely deserved to make it into the list of finalists. I sincerely hope you win!


almost 3 years ago Echo Song said:

I really liked this. You set a somber and dark mood from the very start, and it resonated throughout the story. However, I think you could have given your character a bit more life. I only saw his motivations, and I would have liked to see some other side to him. Other than that, good job.



almost 3 years ago Beth said:

Very captivating story. I couldn't stop reading, well written.


almost 3 years ago Kay said:

I think you did an awesome job!! I enjoyed it. Thank you!!