1 chapter / 1000 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read


this short story is the reason i don't do swaps anymore

  • 425
  • 22
  • 19
  • 132
  • 25
  • 173



over 1 year ago Avery Cloud-Estep said:

Your story grasped me immediately and the details were in-depth enough that I was able to imagine everything perfectly. I would have loved for there to be more of the story! It did not end abruptly at all, but instead left me wanting more.

On a side note, sometime last year you asked me to do a swap with you and that was when I was on a too long hiatus from this website and did not see the request until today. If you are still interested in doing your part of the swap, read any story I have, if not, I completely understand. Thanks!



about 3 years ago Angelec said:

the details and emotion that you put into your words is amazing...slightly frightening...but that's a good thing. this story truly kept me captivated. i enjoyed how well put together your story was. great job! i will continue to read more of your work. this idea in itself was very interesting. :D


over 3 years ago Amy May said:

First off, to answer your question. I did "flip" through a few paragraphs of your writing before, just randomly. Except the paragraphs turned into pages.

Okay, so when I read your writing, it just seems really... busy. I can't help but notice that you are artistically describing something as well as read the action going on. Does that make sense?

I also really like how you sometimes put two opposing forces in the same sentence to describe an idea, like in the first paragraph, a thunderous roar and a soft veil of rain.

That concept of souls, it's really unique. I happen to like writing about stuff like that too -- not so technically science fiction, but it leaves room to imagine.

The only suggestion I have is to expand a little bit more on the personality of the demon. There needs to be a good, soft side, not matter how subtle, in every character to satisfy and further torture the reader. That demon has probably been around for a long time, but there has to be something that always disturbs him, right?

Anyway, that was one of the best short stories I've ever read. The previous sentence was not sarcastic.