Providence: Elementals Rampage

Providence: Elementals Rampage

40 chapters / 147139 words

Approximately about 12 hours to read

Description:



STATUS: COMPLETED
Chapter 19,36-38 are undergoing polishing. They are readable but I prefer new swappers to not read them till I finish polishing them.

Cover by: vrai

The first book in the Providence series.


Yuki Mancio just moved into Abayant City, A city that discovered a material called Abayant X which can give people super powers. Power users or Elementals can use earth, fire, wind, and water powers.


Although an elemental himself, Yuki also has a one of a kind power that allows him to see the future which places his life in jeopardy when two rival organization groups, Magician's Pentagram: An organization of Elementals and mind control and Cluster Tech: An organization of Advanced Machinery and Cyborgs wish to use him to tip the scales in their favor.


Yuki meets up with his sister Cherise Mancio and her partner Alex Kypel upon his arrival at the city who are members of a special group called Providence who preserve the peace and handles all Abayant X related crimes.

Comments(23)

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10 months ago Naki Lashiva said:

Hey, this is a cool idea! It was this book that originally made me interested in a swap, but that's totally okay :D

I read the prologue and some of chapter one--nice writing style, btw :) You are very clear about what is happening. I'm assuming Yuki is the main character though, and I know it sounds silly, and it's just a thought, but you might consider rewriting the prologue from Yuki's point of view as a child, and really getting into his psyche in those early years.

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over 1 year ago Sophie Purchase said:

** For my review, not the book, sorry, I tried not to waste you review section, ended up wasting the comment section, I'm terrible (-w-")

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over 1 year ago Sophie Purchase said:

*Thirty is meant to be thirsty, just gonna add that in there

Trin_aster_pro

almost 2 years ago Trin Aster said:

I usually gives reviews, but since I am tired and have been reviewing stuff all day I have decided to just read it then tell you some stuff after.

-"He (keeps) seeing" not kept.

-Why would the kid be excited he saw a man in his dreams that is now dead?

-Grammar could be polished

-Sorry this comment/review stinks really bad. Just there were some places where you could add description, or some places that could be polished up or changed just slightly that it would make it that much better. Overall I realllllly liked the prologue! Lovely job.

Reviews(412)

Red

about 1 month ago Red said:

Chapter 29:

I think I've read a Jeffrey Archer book with the same title as this one. Maybe it's a common phrase, Idk.

Little kids aren't such disgusting warts that they'd bully someone cause their mom died.

"...had become a wind Elemental recently"...so you can become one? Why hasn't Pentagram or Cluster Tech tried to make normal humans into Elementals? Sure there was that one kid in Yuki's school, but now all Pentagram is focused on is the purple light and Cluster Tech is sitting in the back seats patiently waiting for its turn to take the main stage.

The request system is weird. Isn't it optional for members to take it?

"Besides, you were handpicked."...that's a very scary system. Normal citizens can pick and choose who does their jobs for them? Wouldn't this lead to large extremes of overworked employees and underworked employees?

See? Keith getting picked so easily is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about before.

"Is now a good time?"...you mean...Paula hadn't set any sort of appointment time...what if Norman had said that they were busy? Don't universities need time to prepare some arranged tour of what reporters should see? I mean what Norman shows is what's gonna be broadcast to the world. Shouldn't he try to postpone the interview?

All your characters apart from Yuki seem to show no remorse killing weaker people and even other characters like Paula crack jokes right after she saw three teenagers get killed.

So Nigel is as angsty as ever and as before, I have no sympathy for him. "Daddy neglected me...so I started killing people!"

Red

about 1 month ago Red said:

Chapter 27:

I am really not gonna like this chapter from the title alone. It's a personal thing, but things like high school drama is just tiring to slog through for me.

I read the first line and I can't stop laughing. Ya don't describe where he is, why he is there, or what's he thinking. It's just described as "Yuki's very sad and he's crying."

"You can't stay here"...WHERE?!

"We're on the same boat"...NO, you are not. Simply Being adopted is not equivalent to being adopted for being made as a replacement. Of course, Kaito's adoption also has some ulterior motives, but he doesn't know that yet.

"Yuki had erupted in laughter"...yep, one line he's crying his eyes out, then he's laughing his head off. What is he? Bipolar?

"You'd be surprised by how much we have in common"...aside from being adopted, I am curious to know how they have anything similar to each other.

"Off the bridge"...but, they were in some sort of meadow right? What bridge?

"...everything he's been true has been changing him." I wouldn't normally be pointing out typos, but I actually had trouble understanding this line for a few seconds before I realized it was a typo.

"You're free to tell me whenever you feel the need to", nice sentiment and all...BECAUSE HIDING STUFF FROM HIS DAD WORKED SO WELL THE FIRST TIME RIGHT? Why is he okay with this? Shouldn't he be demanding Cher to spill her guts out as to who this new Yuki is and what he's been through?

"The two talked a while about numerous personal and work related topics"...write these talks out dear author. Writing these parts can be tedious, but it's what helps the reader to get a grip on the character's personality...in this case, that character is Arthur.

"The class exploded in laughter"...what an easy crowd.

I forgot how much I hated Albert and every line he speaks.

"Didn't your dad teach you the proper dress code...no I am not talking about clothes, I am talking about your looks"...boy, I am dying. So much dumb in just two lines.

Yeah, I read through these parts before and I don't find much difference from the previous draft. I'll just say that people don't make so much fuss over talented people apart from characters in high school anime...and I detest that genre from the bottom of my heart.

NO! Universities don't sanction bullies!

"They had no right to step on us"...oh grow a spine. Saying "My! Look at her!" isn't an insult. It's the sign of someone who can't even string together a decent insult.

Smug Amber is good Amber :D(no, that was not sarcasm)

THREE LINES! It took THREE lines of speech for Yuki to get over what was equivalent to the world breaking down from under him .No I won't consider the talk with Kaito to be worth anything since all he talked about was HIS adoption and not on how Yuki felt.

No offense, but this is really a cop out. If Yuki escalated from a 0 to a 100 when he became angry, it went quickly back from 100 to a 0.