A Tale on Angel's Wing

A Tale on Angel's Wing

1 chapter / 500 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read

Description:

*Cover Courtesy of Natalie Dunning*
*Winner of Skink-No Surrender Contest*
An angel named Elizabeth has fallen from grace and forgotten who she was. She is running through a forest, afraid of the demon, Calcifer who was coming after her. But Calcifer only wishes to help her remember and take her wings back. Will she be able to trust a demon?

Comments(7)

Tae kwon

3 months ago Tae Kwolfe said:

I have goosebumps! Good job!

Images

12 months ago angel 1 said:

It is a great book great job keep it up

Seeking light

almost 2 years ago Headintheclouds said:

Yeah, that wolf was scary!

I like how you used the feather to help bring back her memories. That one little detail, so specific and unique.

Vdcsx

about 2 years ago Laura Marie said:

Beautiful short story! Even more extraordinary if there is more to it.

Reviews(1)

Untitled

over 2 years ago Yayono said:

"It felt like she had fallen and list something important." I think you should take out the second "had".

In the second paragraph I feel your last few sentences should be combined. "She backed into a tree and closed her eyes, waiting for death to come." Or "she closed her eyes as she waited for death to come; waiting for him to close his jaws around her throat." This is just a suggestion.

I make the same suggestion for the fourth paragraph. I think it might be better to combine sentences to make them longer rather than having a bunch of short ones but that all depends on you :)

"Why was she even considering trustin this demon?" In this paragraph you use 'demon' quite often. Think about changing the first demon into 'wolf' or using other words to symbolize demon. Something like, being from the underworld? Or something that sounds better.

I really enjoyed this story! I wasn't sure what to expect and it surprised me. I wish I could have gotten a little more emotion from Elizabeth. Her fear, her confusion, her appreciation. If you added in some descriptive actions I think it would help a lot. When she was running and looking behind her should was good. Calciferol confused me at the end. She said that she remembered her "love" for him and I figured she fell from heaven because she loved someone she wasn't supposed to (whicH, I thought was another angel, so that was a great twist!), but then she needed with "you have always been a good friend". That line made me feel that their relationship just changed.

Other than a few random things, it was a great story! Makes me want to know what happened before and what would happen next. Good job :)