Don't Forget...

Don't Forget...

1 chapter / 754 words

Approximately 4 minutes to read

Description:

This a Short Story. Eleena has amnesia. And Jake, her boyfriend is trying to bring her back... or is he?

Genres:

Romance, Horror, Suspense

Comments(100)

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almost 5 years ago Blessed Be said:

this was amazing. keep up the good work. and just for a random note, the cover picture was from an amazing movie. just in case you didnt know the movie. =)

Jessie!

over 5 years ago Jessica Langdale said:

I have chills all over. This was excellent. Mystery. Fear. Suspense. Dread. Romance. The works. A few grammatical errors, but that's a quick fix. Otherwise, it was great(:

Dsc03421

almost 6 years ago Vivian Thai said:

woah this was intense your writing style is great! the concept itself is great but the different POV was a bit confusing to me it might just be me though my part of our swap

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almost 6 years ago Isabel Anna said:

This was amazing! I love the idea and the emotion that you put into it was great :) Keep up the great work!

Reviews(16)

Dragon wallpaper

about 6 years ago AndreaKHill said:

I'm really conflicted with this.

I like the concept. It's new and refreshing. It could be a very emotional and up lifting story...or something absolutely crushing (which, I'm not against).

But!

I couldn't take the writing seriously. I'm not a fan of multiple character P.O.V in first person, it gets confusing and distracting. You should choose one character to be in first person and everyone else should be in third. It would make things cleaner and not confusing.

I'm also not a fan of 'teen speak' or 'chat speak' in narration, dialogue included. Unless this is in diary format, it just comes across the wrong way.

Photo on 2012-03-19 at 16.52

about 6 years ago A. Kennedy said:

I feel slightly conflicted. On the one hand the writing is very detailed. On the other though you write partially in the voice of the main character, who frankly, kind of annoys me when she goes off on the whole , "?!?!?!" at the end of sentences and the 'OMG' stuff. That might just be your style, but frankly it took away from the seriousness of the story and makes it look cheesy. I have a similar issue with one of my own stories, so I know the challenge, but yeah, just try looking at it a bit.