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Approximately 2 minutes to read
Macy River was popular. She loved it at first but then she realized there were bad things too. Like the way her "friends" preyed on poor Colby Bryan. She realizes, soon, that she has to stick up for Colby... and herself
about 1 month ago S. Welch said:
"Everyday I pretend I can't* see the pain"
8 months ago N Gratzen said:
An interestingly fascinating read. And I'm now thinking of writing a small essay on it. Thanks for boosting my creativity so that now I won't have to get affordable essay help.
over 2 years ago Shelby Fox said:
You totally deserved to win this contest! I really liked the quote you started off with. And I love how simple, yet powerful your story is. I think that everyone has moments in their live's where they have to be true to who they really are and stand up for what they know to be right. Sometimes it's a hard choice, but it's liberating. Great job :)
over 2 years ago Anastasia Lockheart said:
The quote to start off is great. Good job! I like where this is going :)
over 2 years ago Maggie said:
Congratulations on the win! This is a really powerful piece, and it really deserves it.
There was a little too much telling instead of showing, I think; Macy's actions seem really sudden. Maybe show us around her mind a little more? Usually there's one event that sways someone into standing up, but with her it's just the fact that she's fed up with everything, and I feel like you need a more definite turning point and a more definite reason for it. Maybe even a short conversation with Colby, or hearing her friends say something totally unacceptable about him. Some circumstance that intensifies her guilt enough that you can tell exactly when and why she knows she has to act. If that makes any sense.
I was a little confused at Colby's first appearance with the words 'this boy' because you'd just mentioned Macy's boyfriend, so I thought you were still referring to him.
Why is Colby teased? Is he awkward or different or ugly or what? Why does he, of everyone, stand out to Macy, and why do her friends pick specially on him?
I love the writing style--the repetition and surrealness of it are really striking. I also love your point that popularity imprisons you; it's so true, and you convey it so well. The Einstein quote is perfect. And Macy is a wonderful character. What she does is really hard.