Threads of Hope

Threads of Hope

5 chapters / 6593 words

Approximately 33 minutes to read

Description:

In a futuristic world, The Purity Movement have risen. They have taken over everything.Everything. But one girl rises from the ashes of a family torn apart by the movement. A girl named Hope. Determined to see her parents, and her older brother Danny, she sets out to find them. But what will happen as she travels, and what secrets and conspiracies will unfold?

Genres:

Adventure, Fantasy, Novel

Comments(9)

_mg_2877s

over 2 years ago Krystal Fragoso said:

Amazing beginning! Really drew me in with little words. Talking to the reader was great. Really created a connection. Enough emotion to really pack a punch. I've always loved fantasy and can't wait to see how that all blends into the plot and hearing more of this MC's story through her 'adventure.'

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almost 3 years ago Shruti said:

I loved the introduction and the way you used such a personal tone with the reader. I think that you might want to pull back a little bit in the first chapter so that there aren't quite as many "personal" comments from the narrator to the reader. It may be just a personal preference, but I think there may be a smidgen too much interaction between the narrator and the reader in the first paragraph. On the whole, I love what you've done so far and I can't wait to read more!

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almost 3 years ago Marissa LaPorte said:

The introduction to your story really pulled me in. I didn't see any flaws with your writing technically and I loved the first few lines. It seemed as if the book was speaking to me and usually I despise that because it brings me out of the story but this time it felt right. I love the idea of this dystopian world where perfection is wanted and having an open mind is wrong. It is scary, but interesting. Great work and keep writing!

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almost 3 years ago Stephanie Marasco said:

this is really cool. you had me immediately hooked and your writing style kept me interested. YOu have intriguing characters and your plot is unique. Nice job!!!

Reviews(5)

Kutekandy98.256.211798

almost 3 years ago ➳FollowYourArrow ♥ said:

The beginning is enticing. I've never seen an opening like this before.

"Heck(,) who knows where they are now..."

I think that maybe instead of using one quotation mark around normal fears and new world, you should use two. This is a personal suggestion.

Within the third and fourth paragraph you use the words "true fear" so many times that semantic satiation occurs. Meaning, you say it so often it loses meaning. Maybe switch it up with saying "I know what real fear is like" or maybe even take it out and say "It's/It is having everything you love-...- snatched away from you..."

"... To call it that stupid name." From everything I've gathered so far about your narrator she/he is probably an adult or young adult/teenager. Saying "stupid name" sounds too young and immature. Like a child throwing a tantrum and saying "I don't like that, it's stupid." Maybe replace it with something like "It's ironic to give it such a name" or "It's ironic to call it that".

I would like to come back and read chapter one at some point, you've really peaked my interest. Good job! I'm wondering what this is all about and how it started.

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almost 3 years ago Jeanna Louise Roberts said:

Loving it! Can't wait for you to put out more stuff!