Final Requests

Final Requests

2 chapters / 1491 words

Approximately 7 minutes to read

Description:

This is the story of a girl and a corpse.

Comments(13)

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almost 2 years ago Ninoshka Aviles said:

I was so curious about this story. First the title pulled me in and then the description. As soon as I read the first sentence I knew this was going to be something amazing. I love your style of writing and how easily I got pulled into this story. I really hope that this is something you continue because I'm dying to see how this is going to go.

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over 2 years ago Linda Dionne said:

The beginning of this story is freakin' perfection. I love the offbeat, quirky nature of it, and Charlotte is such a great narrator. It's great how you dive into the paranormal without making a huge deal about mythology or info dumps. Hugh is such a great character already and I can't wait for the promised adventure!

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over 2 years ago rylie van wingerden said:

Chapter 2: clever. I like this Hugh character already...

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over 2 years ago Emma Kemp said:

Wit and morbidity in one - the best kind of combination :) I am certainly looking forward to more of this.

Reviews(2)

Gregjasonfunderberger

over 2 years ago Cassie Rose said:

1.

The set up reminds me a little bit of the television show Pushing Daisies, which is one of my all-time favorite shows. :) I like your dark humor, which is very deadpan. There’s definitely an atmosphere that’s immediately apparent.

When it goes into her getting a job at the funeral home, maybe you could add a little something about why she did? Like, she felt qualified for it. Or she felt she’d be a really sucky cashier so she wanted to stick to something she knew.

I like the part where she says the corpses are certain that they’ve been murdered. It just sounds so human, to think that you’ve been murdered if you could come back as a ghost. And I like that she felt all cool and detective-y when she did help a murder victim. Who wouldn’t want to help solve a crime?

“…and learned all about bones and muscles and brain tissue, but nothing on talking corpses. Apparently there weren’t any classes on that…” Love.

I like that section where you go into her being more used to friendships that only last a few days. Good character insight, and it makes her relatable. And it also adds into the atmosphere of the story when you say that she goes to watch her friends be buried.

Dang, though, that mug would be the most awesome thing ever!

Oo, Hugh is going to bring an adventure! I can’t wait!

2.

Ha ha, 'celebrating' 100 years. :P

I love that it’s just kind of normal that a young woman is working in a funeral home. I love it when book characters have strange jobs.

What does she do if the corpse’s thing isn’t done by the time the funeral comes around? Or, in Lady Catharine’s case, if the corpse ran off? Does she have to keep the family at bay and make up excuses?

Maybe when Hugh says he wants to go to the Pacific, there can be a mention something like “Well, she’d knew she’d have to get one of these sooner or later”? Because she had to think that eventually there would be someone who wanted to do something harder than write a letter or eat ice cream. :P

Hugh is such a good name for him. His tweed jacket and glasses and poetry and tea. Hugh just seems the perfect name for a guy like that.

I'm all caught up! I love the fantastical nature of this story, and how it's also very realistic. It's a great blend. :)

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over 2 years ago Linda D said:

But of Corpse I will! I’m cracking up here – THAT IS HILLARIOUS!!!

Laina, this is something you KNOW I would love – the quirky absurdity – this is SO up my alley – You don’t usually write quirky humour – but after this, YOU SHOULD! I do hope you continue – even just a short story.

Just getting rid of those slow “was” “…that Charlotte (turned) sixteen – When Charlotte (reached) eighteen and…

The wording tripped me up with “Making her feel very much like a detective – I know you mean Charlotte, but reading it, I got confused because it could mean the corpse felt like a detective – maybe have “except for one (fellow)… then the “her” could only mean Charlotte.

Just for me? THANK YOU for sharing it. You give the best and personality accurate presents.