Diamonds in the Rough

Diamonds in the Rough

1 chapter / 1096 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read


War has come to Eceerg and Napaj, in the form of a deadly bloodbath. Two lovers head the armies of either countries, but neither of them wants to hurt the other. What can they do? For the fable contest, thanks for reading! Cover by Emilia Kay, or Bee, or Hanna LOVED, or Mimi the mouse. They all made fabulous covers for me, thanks! ***The countries of Eceerg and Napaj are Greece (Zeus) and Japan (Miika) backward. They aren't from those countries, just their names are, thanks for your heart! ^_^



over 6 years ago Kat Lefay said:

Simple but sweet and a phenomenal fable.


over 6 years ago Okamii said:

Yo! Sorry, I don't have time for a thorough review, Fish Fingers, but I stumbled across this, and like, totally thought that it was awesome. Therefore, I must let you know!

I loved the originality of this story. I'm not usually much of a fan of love stories at all, to be honest, but I think the way you made this so original was incredibly effective. It didn't at all seem mushy either. Although I think it was very original overall, the idea is kind of a cliché one. To be honest though, I think the way you wrote it made that fact irrelevant.

I really loved the beginning too. I liked the similes you used, especially the one about eating dessert first. Really original!

In case you haven't noticed yet, I like this. xD

Also, I really can't believe you didn't place in the figment's next top writer contest thing, like, seriously. I'm actually kind of stunned. >.< I happen to have just read another entry that got into the top 14, and this is simply in a whole other league compared to that.

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over 6 years ago Kylie Rae said:

I gave you your 200th heart, and you deserved it. I really liked this.


over 6 years ago Trina Elisabeth said:

This is a wonderfully original idea, and I love the theme of love throughout. Really lovely piece! Great job. :)



over 6 years ago Erin天長子 said:

I thought that this was an incredible story of the classic tales of love and war. I can't imagine how long it took you to write this, but this sure was worth what ever effort you put into it, weather it was a day or a month. I nearly cried whenever the story said, "And their love prevailed" but the last line of the story is what really brought me to tears. You've shown that you are definatly destined for a career in writing and I hope you keep telling your stories with as much emotion and description as this one does. Good job yet again!

Don't panic

over 6 years ago Cassy S said:

That was wonderful. You fill my heart with joy! This story has the perfect voice for a fable, without any unnecessary fluff or overy-flowery description. We (readers) know exactly the things we need to know in terms of description. The repetition of "And still their love prevailed" was very powerful both in terms of context and in terms of sentence structure/syntax (for reasons I'm too lazy to type out). The concept of this story is incredibly moving. The final battle of a war should be a destructive and depressing scene, but you took what should be and made it into something beautiful. And the language you used to describe that scene was beyond perfect. If I had to make a complaint, I would say that occasionally some of your sentences when describing the war were quite dizzying. You could cut a few of them down to size. But besides that, this story was perfect and wholesome and complete and heart-warming.