I LOVE this story! what is the narrator? is he a stuffed animal? I loved it. do you write stories like this all the time? if so I'd totally follow you! (I'd follow you anyway because of this story).
This is good. Is it a blanket? That is just curiosity...
Anyways, my only suggestion would be to work with the ending a little. It's just so abrupt. If you wanted to end it how you did, that is fine, but it really doesn't tie in the rest of the story. I might add one line more saying something like, "I have only a few moments to tell this story. The story of my life with Beatrice." Something to really make you think, ok, now it all makes sense. I started with the title, ended with the title, everything is good now. But that is just my opinion. Overall, good work.
Wow! Very well written. As the story went on, you kinda understood that the main character was a teady bear. It captures the moment of growing up very well. Great job!!!! I
Comments(9)
6 months ago c said:
Hearted! If you would like to swap please read/heart my story “Ella and Sam were here.” Thanks!
12 months ago alexis stankewitz said:
I LOVE this story! what is the narrator? is he a stuffed animal? I loved it. do you write stories like this all the time? if so I'd totally follow you! (I'd follow you anyway because of this story).
about 1 year ago Shade Fletcher said:
It seems like you condensed an entire novel in 500 words. Slow down and describe specific parts separately. You do have good material for a novel.
about 1 year ago Stuck in a Cupcake said:
This is good. Is it a blanket? That is just curiosity...
Anyways, my only suggestion would be to work with the ending a little. It's just so abrupt. If you wanted to end it how you did, that is fine, but it really doesn't tie in the rest of the story. I might add one line more saying something like, "I have only a few moments to tell this story. The story of my life with Beatrice." Something to really make you think, ok, now it all makes sense. I started with the title, ended with the title, everything is good now. But that is just my opinion. Overall, good work.
Reviews(1)
over 2 years ago A. B. Hunt said:
Wow! Very well written. As the story went on, you kinda understood that the main character was a teady bear. It captures the moment of growing up very well. Great job!!!! I