My Life with Beatrice

My Life with Beatrice

1 chapter / 559 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read

Description:

A story about the life of a loved one, who was loved by a girl but then forgotten.

Comments(9)

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almost 2 years ago c said:

Hearted! If you would like to swap please read/heart my story “Ella and Sam were here.” Thanks!

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over 2 years ago Lexi Stankewitz said:

I LOVE this story! what is the narrator? is he a stuffed animal? I loved it. do you write stories like this all the time? if so I'd totally follow you! (I'd follow you anyway because of this story).

Leafcoffee

over 2 years ago Shade Fletcher said:

It seems like you condensed an entire novel in 500 words. Slow down and describe specific parts separately. You do have good material for a novel.

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over 2 years ago Stuck in a Cupcake said:

This is good. Is it a blanket? That is just curiosity...

Anyways, my only suggestion would be to work with the ending a little. It's just so abrupt. If you wanted to end it how you did, that is fine, but it really doesn't tie in the rest of the story. I might add one line more saying something like, "I have only a few moments to tell this story. The story of my life with Beatrice." Something to really make you think, ok, now it all makes sense. I started with the title, ended with the title, everything is good now. But that is just my opinion. Overall, good work.

Reviews(1)

Me

almost 4 years ago A. B. Hunt said:

Wow! Very well written. As the story went on, you kinda understood that the main character was a teady bear. It captures the moment of growing up very well. Great job!!!! I