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Approximately 4 minutes to read
After losing the battle of a lifetime, Cole Winters and his not very faithful companion, Corkscrew, have to pick themselves up and start again. Written for the Brandon Sanderson contest.
over 2 years ago William Root said:
Extremely nice start to this story. If it followed the prompt (gave one power and shown how it could be used to take over the world), it would be a contender.
William Root, author of Promises
over 2 years ago M.C. Topham said:
Would you mind reading The Dark Night of the Soul? It's for the contest too...
I liked the story, though like others had said I wasn't quite sure what his power was, or exactly why he was like that (though I may have just missed it) anyway, thanks for the swap:)
over 2 years ago Diana Raven said:
I absolutely adore the beginning of your story! Beautiful! I was just wondering what exactly happened? Did he die? Or was he just thought dead and forgotten?
over 2 years ago Stephanie Marasco said:
This was really cool, definitely different from the other contest entries (mine included) you have fantastic descriptions. Nice job!
over 2 years ago B.C. Hernandez said:
Very interesting story, I wanted to read it until the very end! You characters are very developed and your plot is good. there is a few little holes though. It would provide more depth and detail if you maybe touched on what actually happened before he was defeated, and maybe a little bit on his power? Overall good story, just lacking some detail. Good luck!
over 2 years ago Mars said:
I definitely think that if this weren't a heart contest, this would be in the running for winning. I think it is well-written and the descriptions are quite lovely.
The only problem I had with it was that I didn't feel it answered the prompt to the fullest extent--we see his power, and we see that he's angry at these people, but how is he going to take over the world with this power? Has he been beaten once already, like I feel the first paragraph infers?
I also would have liked to know a little more about his powers--I think it's an Earth Elemental power, but we only got one line about it, which isn't very much.
I do like the characterization, though, which is something I feel like a lot of entries have been missing out on.
Like I said before, the writing is lovely, solid, and I don't think there's many "fluff" or unneeded words. I also didn't catch any grammar mistakes--for heaven's sake, you even em dashed correctly, which is a miracle in itself on the internet!
All in all, great job with this.