The Magic Behind Him

The Magic Behind Him

1 chapter / 621 words

Approximately 3 minutes to read

Description:

WARNING: If you self-harm this story might be a trigger for you!
Sometimes it's hard to put down the blade, but when someone comes along to help you, sometimes it makes it a little easier to over come your urges.

Comments(5)

Red hart

over 2 years ago Rachel D. said:

Wow, I was alarmed and intrigued at how fast this pulled me in! I loved this story, it was very captivating. Even though I've never cut, I could certainly feel what she feels. Nicely done, this was amazing! I bet you'll help a lot of people who self harm, even if maybe just a little.

Whitetiger

over 2 years ago A.J. Cypher said:

The first line drew me in quick and the rest of the story was equally as tense and emotional. Very well done!

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over 2 years ago Stephanie Marasco said:

this was soooo good. The words that you wrote were deep and really passionate. The descriptions were amazing and I couldn't spot any grammar issues. Overall a very nicely written piece!

Books

over 2 years ago Pseudonym said:

This is amazing! I love the metaphor behind the story (Kindness heals the deepest wounds); it makes it truly memorable.

Reviews(3)

051

over 2 years ago Pt. Oscar Reid said:

This is beautiful. I love the concept, and I really felt as though I were in the life of the character. I could feel the emotional pang of sorrow in my chest. You have very strong diction and imagery, and I liked how you described the boy, how he just pulled her in to his arms, and despite not knowing him she just welcomes his presence. On a side note, I felt that you had a few run-on sentences in this; a few thoughts that seemed to jump around to the next before finishing the previous. Make sure you really go though with a fine-tooth comb to look for possible changes and revisions. Don't always think that you have to revise only the weaker points; if something is strong, embellish upon it! Also, a big thing I find that I need to consider is, what do I want to put in the story, and what should go in the story. Sometimes you may really want to insert a certain line or word because you really like it, but it doesn't always fit in, it's a tough call to make, but often a necessary one. And remember that saying more doesn't always make it better; often times saying less makes the reduced prose have more impact. Instead of telling the reader, let the reader tell themselves... All in all this was an awesome story and I really liked it! Even though it's amazing in it's present state, there is still a vast amount of potential waiting behind it, you just have to really work to peel back the layers and uncover that potential! Keep it up :)

Merida

over 2 years ago B.C. Hernandez said:

beautiful and deep. You described things very well and I loved the ending, well done.